Bullying Can Kill and or Seriously DamageYour Child's Health

CURB AIMS AND OBJECTIVES CURB’s primary aim is to work positively towards preventing bullying and violence against children. CURB is a support group for parents whose children have/are being bullied so that they in turn can help their children. CURB offers assistance to parents to structure complaints to the relevant authorities, supporting them throughout any procedures. CURB also provide families and parents of children who are victims of bullying with: - support - letter writing - Authorities Procedures (including Special Educational Needs) - Legal advice - a 24-Hour Helpline plus Answering Service. CURB will also work towards obtaining unity between parents, local authorities schools, police and other agencies in preventing bullying and violence. Assessment of the situation As parents, when you have reason to believe that your child has/is being bullied many emotions come into play. It is extremely important for your child to know that they have your support and that you believe what has been disclosed. Do stay calm and try to get as much information as possible as to:- What has been happening? Who is involved?· How long the situation has been going on for. Try not to look at the reasons for the bullying as this could result in your child feeling responsible for what’s happening. If in the case of an assault having taken place, you will need to decide if reporting the incident to the police is your first priority, bearing in mind that your child does not have to be physically attacked for it to be an assault. The above information may assist the police in their investigation, again try to remain as calm as possible. Reactions When bullying has taken place, it is important for your child to know that he/she is not alone and that other children have experienced similar situations. You need to try to reassure your child, as isolation and fear will usually be feelings they experience. Whatever you as parents may be feeling it is important that you talk to your child, letting them know that they are loved and understood. A lot of tender loving care may be needed during and after their experience. Children react to uncomfortable situations in many ways: - your child may be very tearful, and your child’s nature may alter some children withdraw into themselves others may present you with very challenging behaviour These are normal reactions to a child that is hurting. However: - - do not judge your child for the change in their normal behaviour patterns continue to talk to your child and offer reassurance whenever possible always involve your child in any decision that may take place keep them informed at each stage with regards to what is happening allow them to talk about what they want to see happen and how they feel about any decision being made on their behalf it is important for you to explain in some instances the course of action that has been decided the reason why and what you hope to achieve. During this period of your child’s life, your child may feel under a lot of stress. You know your child better than anyone and you need to try and provide a home environment that is calming. Children who have been subjected to bullying may have difficulty knowing how to relax and will need your support in creating a relaxed atmosphere at home. Communicating with your child Talking to your child about what is happening is also very important. You also need to incorporate, and discuss the good events that have taken place in your child’s life, i.e. give them examples and opportunities whenever possible. This should assist in reducing the anxiety your child is possibly experiencing. Writing a journal may help your child to come terms with their situation and can also provide a valuable resource in how your child is coping. CURB strongly believes it is not advisable to encourage any child to retaliate, however the following may help i.e.: - Walking to school with a friend Being taken to and from school by an adult Arranging for your child to stay within view of a member of staff during break times Letting your child arrive at school a little later and/or leave school somewhat earlier than their peers These options above may not always be practical, and could be counter productive. Communicating with the school (and other agencies) It is important to communicate with the school bringing to their attention what your child is experiencing. Some schools recognise that bullying takes place and will offer an attentive ear. Initially, the school may not have been aware that bullying is taking place, so you need to work with them if possible. If you are successful in enlisting the support of a teacher this can help a child feel protected within the school. This also allows the school to play an active role in identifying problems that your child may be having. Remember most teachers are themselves parents who should understand your concerns. What many parents do not realise, since 1997 it has been a Statutory Duty for every school in Wales to have anti-bullying policy. However, CURB is fully aware that sometimes the policies are not worth the paper they are written on. Having an anti-bullying policy is one thing, implementing their structured guidelines on tackling bullying is another! In the event of the school, local authority, police and/or other agencies rejecting your child’s allegations of bullying, i.e. (‘passing the buck’ as "it is not our problem") this could result in the aforementioned having legal action taken against them for Negligence of ‘Duty and Care’. CURB have been informed by our members in the Legal Community that a child has until their 18th and/or 21st birthday if such direct action needs to be taken. Action for Parents' 1. Gather ALL the information from your child 2. Report that your child has/is being bullied within their school environment by arranging an urgent appointment with your child’s Head Teacher. 3. Follow up any conversation with a letter to the Head Teacher confirming the points you discussed and forward copies of the letter to:- The school’s Chair of Governors The Director of Education (Always keeping a copy of all letters sent and any replies). 4. In the event of your child suffering a severe or mild physical assault, your child may need to attend the Accident & Emergency Unit. Try and ensure that you, or your child give the medical staff as much detail as possible of the assault, in case the information is required for future reference. Depending on the severity of the injury the hospital may contact the police on your behalf. (In some incidents it may be prudent to photograph any physical evidence). 5. After seeking/obtaining medical treatment: contact your local Police Station requesting either an appointment and/or a home visit, as you want to report an assault. document the time and date you called and/or visited the police station. make a note of the officer’s rank, name, and number.· after the interview is concluded, ensure that you obtain an incident number from said officer, as the above information may be needed for future reference. 6. Again, follow-up with a written account of the interview with the officer, including any advice and/or any action that you, the officer or both have agreed is appropriate. The main reason CURB recommend that you follow this avenue is because we are aware that many police officers have informed parents that it is not their problem or concern, especially if an assault took place on school grounds, that it is a matter or responsibility of the Head Teacher. THIS IS NOT THE CASE! If any school, local authority, the police or any other agency are obstructive and/or refuse to take seriously, or investigate any complaint of assault or allegations of bullying, they could themselves be acting unlawfully! The following two points are of great importance: - The safety and well being of your child! Document everything! If you have any difficulties with the latter bullet point, contact CURB as soon as possible. From the information and data CURB have collated there is a very strong suggestion that many of the children’s greatest fear is the anticipation of a physical attack, then the actual assault itself. Many children have, and are still being subjected, to the most brutal forms of mental and emotional abuse, which is not only diminishing the child’s confidence, they are left questioning their sense of worth and clearly in many cases losing their will to live! 7. Therefore, arrange a double appointment with your child’s GP (whether a physical attack as taken place or not). Inform your child’s Doctor of the situation and give as much detail of events as possible. This should assist the doctor in offering your child the right course of support and treatment if and when necessary. 8. If you have had experience, or are experiencing at present that the school, local authority, the police and / or any other agency are browbeating you and you are unsure what to do next, please contact: - CURB Children Under Risk from Bullying Independent Investigations Tel: 029 20611300 Fax: 029 20694427 emailCURB321@aol.com Copy Right: -Designed & Printed MBM