Charts, contracts, tokens

Making a chart, contract, or awarding tokens. One way of asking your children to be more responsible is to ask them to enter into a contract, if they are over ten or eleven, or to make up a chart if they are under that age. There are no hard and fast rules about this however; it depends on the Childs maturity. They promote a good feeling within the family and ask everyone to work together, fostering co-operation. Chart It is a good idea to ask the child to help you make up a chart and it can be as colourful and interesting as you want to make it. With a chart both parents become consistent in their approach to childcare preventing the playing off of one parent with another. This is equally true with a contract. With a chart only go for a few behavioural problems you are trying to alter. They can be changed every so often to make it more interesting. They must be goals that the child is capable of achieving, as there is nothing worse than becoming disheartened before you even start. So pick some fun activities as well as harder exercises. You might have smiley faces or ticks for outcomes achieved. Every time a child is awarded a smiley face/tick make sure you reinforce with verbal encouragement. “Well done Timmy you asked your sister if she wanted a sweet”. Perhaps the reward for a week of achievement might be a weekend trip to a favourite place, or you might have a points system. Thirty points, buy a take out pizza, ten more minuets of reading a favourite book at bedtime, or go clothes shopping. Contracts. These work well for teenagers. They must be very specific with no room for argument. “Timmy must have homework in on time”. “Clean your room every Saturday”. A contract helps your child to feel mature and how to make the right choices. This is very important, for however much we try, they have to learn by their own mistakes. As with a chart, when displayed on the kitchen wall they become a reminder constantly in front of your nose. Tokens. I have used these with a very emotionally in turmoil child with a very short attention span. They were given every hour of the day, and written on a card stating what they had achieved. They were also entered onto a wall chart as well. You might have three levels of achievement. Platinum, the best, then Gold, and then Silver. Once again, they must be very achievable otherwise it becomes a counter productive exercise. Andrew Dwyer 2004