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Those Aren't Pillows!
 Night one at the Palma Bay Club was supposed to a quiet lie in. Not so!
After arriving at the complex at approximately 3am the idea was to get some sleep ready for the morning. Danny had never roomed with Spud before and could not anticipate what was in store! As Danny was just getting to sleep, a roaring noise like no other started to ring through the appartment. As he gazed around the room to see what it was, it soon became clear that it was Spud........Snoaring! A grand total of 30 minutes sleep was Dannys reward from what was to be a common occurance throughout the week.
Danny commented, " It was like a scene out of Plane, Trains and Automobiles! I was just waiting to wake up one morning and say 'Those Aren't Pillows!'"
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Celebrities In the Balerics?
 During Spud and Danny's vacation a number of some famous and not so famous faces were spotted on the island! They include the following:
John Malcovich - Was on his own the whole time.
Steven Hawkins -Was knockin San Miguels back for fun!
Shadrack Dingle - So pissed he couldn't do archery!
Del Griffith - Well, I could smell his feet!
Minty off Eastenders - Worked in The Queen Vic!
Mr Bean - Senor Bean, the Spanish equivalent!
Michael Ballack - Cleaned up all the diplomas!
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Burger Shortage In El Arenal?
 The small majorca resort El Arenal, (Magaluf for Germans), has revealed a shortage of cheeseburgers!
It comes after the visit of Spud and Danny to the Club Palma Bay complex. The all inclusive resort and others on the island cannot get any burger supply as its all been eaten! Guests have been told to make do with Nachos, fish and chips, sausages and salad.
One long serving member of staff at the club Palma Bay stated, "Every night at about 10:40pm our Burgers were being wolfed down buy one particular guest. This isn't to mention the 5 he had throughout the day as well! It even came to a point when we had 1 ready soon as he walked in, I've never seen anything like that over all the years i've been here!"
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'Hey Up, He's Had A Beer!'
 The vastly populated german resort of El Arenal was not ready for the arrival of Danny and Spud!
After a heavy days drinking San Miguel, the pair ventured off into the night to savour Arenals evening atmosphere. But for one lad, this was a beer too many! With the clock barely past midnight Danny was feeling the effects of the days beverages, and decided it was hometime for him. The heavily intoxicated youth somehow found his way home to Sahara (Back Alley) Block. He stumbled into bed and was sleeping in a matter of seconds! The only thing was, the pair only had 1 key to enter the appartments!!! When Spud finally tired of the nights festivities, he plodded off, kebab in hand, back to the Sahara Block. He soon realised his only way of entry was fast asleep in apartment 408! Shouting up to the Balcony, Banging on the door and ringing the room could still not wake Danny. Finally, after about an hour, Spud gained entry thanks to the all-night reception staff.
When morning arrived, Danny had a clear head thanks to an early night and hours of sleep. He vowed not to knock em back at the same rate throughout the holiday, as he held up his hands in defeat to the master of drinking - SPUD!
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Wingball Takes Majorca By Storm!
 An amazing new sport is currently the talk of Majorca!
This new craze was the brain child of two 'pissed up' english tourists. Danny and Spud created the game after a heavy nights drinking and not having any room to play football. Wingball is simillar to Volley ball, but has no net, players can have to touches, and the ball size is a lot smaller.
By the time Spud and Danny left Arenal, the majority of guests where in the shallow pool playing wingball! The pair are now looking to endorse the sport before any big company claims to have devised it.
Wingball will be coming to a sports hall near you!!!
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Schumacher Tactics in Go-Kart Race!
 The scene was set. Danny and Spud agreed to face off in a 1 v 1 race at Arenals Elite Go Kart Track.
the Helmets were donned, the gloves were on and the vehicles were ready. Wait for the whistle.........And we're off!!!
The first corner saw the favourite Danny beautifully over take Spud to lead the race as excpected. But the angle of the next bend favoured Spud, and wa able to get his nose ahead. this happened throughout the first lap between the pair.
But the crucial point of the race came when Danny went for the inside after Spud had taken the corner too wide. Then memories of Schumacher v Hill came flooding bak when Spud threw his front end into the side of his opponent, leaving him stranded, in the wall of tyres!
By the time danny was able to get back on track, the race was pointless to compete in, as this dirty tactic gave Spud a 2 lap advantage.
After the Race Danny confronted his nemesis, and threatened to report him to Go-Kartings governing body for unsportingly conduct.
Questioned after the race Danny said, "There is no room for cheating like this. What really frustrates me is the fact my opponent just laughed after saying I WON I WON! In my opinion he's let down the sport!"
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