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Year Head is Petrol Station Felon?

A year head at OLSJ was accused by a former pupil of stealing petrol and arrested for the crime. Howerver, the story was made up, leaving the teacher in question fuming over the potential tarnish of his unblemished record. Adam Slinger 'Spud', was the pupil in spreading the mallicious rumours over R.E meastro Mr Hedderman. The incident was swiftly dealt with by Hedders, giving Spud a roasting infront of the whole class! A roasting that made Spud the man he is today! Below: How Hedderman may have looked if under arrest. (a ringer for serial killer Jeff Dahmer)

Rick Astley Back on the road!

80's music icon Rick Astley is finally back on tour. Due to popular demand, he has 2 confrimed dates playing in Manchester. All previous ticket sale records set by Robbie Williams, Oasis and The Red Hot Chilli Peppers were smashed with 60,000 tickets going in just 4 MINUTES!!! Celebrity fans including Darren Day, Deepak Verma (Sanjay who used to be in Estenders) and Craig 'The Craig' Phillips, were amongst the lucky few to get tickets.

Craig had this to say regarding his lucky purchase, "Errr, yes i've always loved Rick Ashtley, eshpecially his thaird album, Free. I takes pride of place on my perfectly crafted MDF shelving unit, I ushed dove tail and bishcuit joints to hold it all together!"

Tickets have now began appearing on Ebay, with prices starting at £500! A small price to pay to witness a true musical genuis at work!

Former Pupil is Football Hooligan?

A former pupil of OLSJ was arrested and removed from a FA Cup match at Ewood Park. Mark Fish, or Fishy as he is most commonly known, had an altercation with the ground stewards after a policeman obscurred his view. It was the memorable clash between Blackburn and Walsall, a game that had to be decided by penalties. With the spot kicks underway, a policeofficer took his position in the Blackburn End blocking Fishys view of the game. He asked a steward if he could move, but their response was just, "You'll have to put up with it!". This infuriated Fishy, and when the game finished he wanted some answers. This did not go down well with the ground staff who alerted a near police officer who proceded to restrain Fishy and eject him from the stadium. The final police report read - 'The offender was removed from the ground under Anti Football Hooligan Act 1964. Charges were dropped after lack of evidence to prove guilty. The accused will now be under the watchful eye of security, and stewards for a period of 12 months.' Fishy declined to comment.