Thwaites suffer annihilation as Slater goes mad!

Thwaites FC faced up to reality yesterday when they were thrashed 5-0 against Marwill B in a dreadful performance that left all the players dejected and low on confidence. This means that they missed the chance of moving up into second place and instead have moved further down the table. The brewery team know they must put in better performances if they wish to avoid another relegation dogfight. It really was a performance that reminded fans and players of the Thwaites of old. Thwaites were under the cosh straight-away and the defence was led a merry dance and the midfield sliced open like a knife through butter. Stand-in goalkeeper Martin Slater was bewildered at his teams performance and ugly scenes nearly erupted as his bad attitude and appalling language infuriated the Marwill players. He was throwing and kicking the ball in fury at his team-mates. Midfielder Jamie Hopwood felt the wrath of Slater after an exceedingly poor display. However, Hopwood was thought to have been upset at his treatment as not one of his team-mates looked for the ball and moved in space. This led to Hopwood at one point passing the ball back to keeper Slater which meant Marwill were awarded a penalty which they duly converted. As you can imagine Slater was livid with Hopwood who nearly burst into tears. The brewery team must now pick themselves up as next week is the most important game of the season as they take on bitter rivals Craven VII who are currently lying at the wrong end of the table below Thwaites. They will also be looking to impress as England manager Sven Goran Eriksson is thought to be attending the clash. Match Ratings: - Slater 5 - Conceded five goals at the end of the day. However, pulled off a string off good saves. Not a team player as he rebuked his team mates too often. Tabbinor 5 - Not helped with lack of support at the back but an overall poor performance. Tipton 5 - Tried to do too much. Looked as if he had given up by the end. Hopwood 3 - Gave away a penalty. An awful display despite some good passes and setting up Thwaites only chance. Elmer 4 - Managed to stay on the field all the game but it was an afternoon to forget Tormay 3 - Caught in possesion to many times. Passing was poor. Southworth 3 - Did'nt track back. No threat in front of goal as he led the lone strikers role. Lack of service to him. The Thwaites board of directors have refused to comment on stories coming from a local newspaper that Thwaites quintet Sean Tormay, Martin Slater, Jamie Hopwood, Simon Tipton and Dominic Southworth were involved in drinking several tequilas. An eye witness said, ' Yes, they looked like they were enjoying theirselves. They were putting salt on their hand and slamming the tequlias back and then inserting a lemon into their mouths. At one point Jamie Hopwood was putting salt into Sean Tormay's hair much to Tormay's discomfort' They have also rubbished reports that defender Damian Tabbinor has handed in a transfer request as his wife Liz wants to move abroad. Castel Di Sangro president Antimo D'Ippolito is thought to be preparing a 6 million pound swoop for the gritty defender in an attempt to bolster his squad. If the stories are true wife Liz must then decide whether she wants to swap Wilpshire for the rugged mezzogiorno and it's farming community. The land is thought to be very scraggy and the people there look very young for their age due to a magic pasta sauce that is in circulation. We will keep you posted on developments. (Pictured Hopwood, who took a real Schmeichel esk, ear bashing from Martin Slater.)