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 * 		Just Poets : Message Board
03.01-2012 23:25:44
Re: New poem
Just another quick post - I think you may be able to pare it down a bit, too - and not lose anything -maybe even gain some more strength and structure - but only if you want to! I wonder if you could take out some of the repetition? Personally, I only need you to call it 'the most beautiful day of all' once - and then I know what you are alluding to. Everything else then is an explanation of either why it is so beautiful, or a glimpse of the contrast against which it is a beautiful day. Anyway - as I said before, I really love the poem, so leave it as it is if you love it that way! Cheers, Gabrielle x

- gabrielle gascoigne
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