A Day In The Life Of Me Stonkers.
Yes, I know what you are all thinking, what kind of a name is that. Well I don`t know either, but I`ve been stuck with it for the last 18 years. Yes, 18.
I`m an old girl, as my mother says, the thing is though, I`m still fit and active, well give or take the odd bit of arthritis,a bit hard of hearing, you know the usual things that can come with old age, mind you, I can still give our young `en, a run for his money.
He has a lot to learn about life, him.
Who gets served first at meal times? well, Me of course, I`ve a much louder voice than him!!!.
Who gets to curl up on mothers knee?
Yes, you`ve guessed it Me!!!!.
If he sees me about to jump up there, he`s off like a shot, talk about scaredy cat!!!!.
I don`t do a lot these days, just eat, sleep, dream, oh, and get my own way.
I`ll wander out in the garden, that is, if I can be bothered.
I`ll watch Famey {the other cat that I allow to live here} chasing, flies, wasps, leaves, infact, anything at all that moves.
Problem is, he never catches anything {ha ha}
in my young days, I could have taught him a thing or two.
Well, I`ve had a good life, and there`s a few good years, in the old girl yet.
Pampered and spoilt, I could be around for the next 10 years. I`m enjoying my retirement.
Oh, that reminds me, "Mother get me my supper, it`s almost an hour since I woke up, need to keep up my strength to go back to my beauty sleep".
Nite, Nite, all you cats, and all you cat lovers.
Sent to us by Stonkers.
Posted by her human mum Jennifer.
The Telephone Engineer.
My family consists of two teenage children, four very placid cats, my husband and myself. As any one with teenage children will know the telephone is an obsession. After just leaving one of their friends, they must just ring up another friend for a chat, leaving parents no chance at all to ring their friends whom they haven`t seen for ages for a chat - sound familiar? After a lengthy discussion, my husband decided we could do with another phone line in the house. I contacted the telephone customer services. "No Problem" they said. "We will come on Monday".
Monday duly arrived, my husband was at work, my teenage children at school, just myself and the cats. As I live near two very busy main roads, my cats are house cats, for their own safety, and for my peace of mind, I shut them in the living room, along with their litter tray,food and water. They shouldn`t need anything else for the short time this was going to take. An hour at the most the customer service person had said.
At 9 a.m. the telephone engineer arrived, he asked where the new line was to go. "In the Hall" I said, well why should we get cold standing in the hall, my husband`s theory being that if the children had to have their phone calls in the hall
the phone calls might be correspondingly shorter!
Bless him, he needs educating about teenagers.
The engineer said he`d just go and check the "box"
to make sure everything was set up for the new line, and something else about underground wires. I left him to it, explaining that I would need to shut the door, and as there was no outside handle on the front door, he`d need to knock, to get back in.
Ten minutes later, he arrived back, ringing the doorbell very purposefully. I instantly knew something was wrong. "The line hasn`t been set up" he said."I`ll have to phone the boss" seeing me looking very worried, he thought wrongly, that I was concerned about the cost of the call. "It won`t cost you anything," he said. I explained it wasn`t that, but my four cats."House cats" I spluttered.
"Don`t worry" he said "I don`t mind pets, not got any myself but the Mrs. was just saying the other day, she`d quite like a cat". My placid cats knew something was going on, and had started to scratch the door and carpet-not a good example I thought.
Through the door he went. My cats obviously didn`t like the look of him, or thought I needed defending from this intruder, anyway, not bothering to find out, one of them lashed out,{it being the basic belief of cats to get your retaliation in first} The engineer exclaimed, words unrepeatable, and I noticed blood on the carpet, I stood, turned to stone, not believing what I had seen. I came to my senses, and after what seem a lifetime, I rushed to the first aid cupboard, showed the engineer the bathroom, gave him plasters and ointment, and left him to get on with putting himself back together.
Very guilty, I said I`d make him a cup of tea, very embarrased, I went to tell the cat how naughty he was. In the living room, all four cats were curled up, fast asleep, as though whatever had happened, had nothing what so ever to do with any of them.The engineer arrived back downstairs, I appolgised most humbly, gave him a cup of tea, the English people`s answer to every crisis.
The engineer pointed out that he still needed to use the phone, but didn`t want to go anywhere near THAT cat, I went to remove the cats, and as I did so, telepathy came into it`s own. They all got up, hissed and spat at the engineer, and left the room.
The engineer made his phone call, and eight other subsequent ones, while all this was going on, the four cats had found some toys, the engineer`s tool bag left open in the hall, had all these wires, different screwdrivers, long ones, short ones, spanners of all different shapes and sizes, were now spread all over the hall carpet.
I quickly tried to pick them all up and put them back; but as fast as I did, the cats got them out again. They ran upstairs with them in their mouths{I thought only dogs did that trick-you learn something new everyday!} I chased after them puffing and panting-not as fit as I used to be. As soon as I got near them they`d jump between the landing and the stairs, and run back down again.
The engineer, once all his phone calls were made, gave me such a funny look. What a mad house he must have thought, at least that`s what his look suggested. He informed me that as the line hadn`t been set up, he`d have to do it himself, which would take around 2 hours.
Would my nerves stand it? I wondered. All the strain of ringing door bells each time he went out and needed to be let in {12 times as it happens}, chasing the cats around the house, trying to reclaim stolen paraphernalia, whilst rounding them up for incarceration in a bedroom, out of the way. We all know cats, quick as lightening and won`t go any where they don`t want to go.
The new phone line took a total of 3 hours to install; a pleased engineer went to test his work, only to discover he`d got the numbers ringing the wrong way round, our number was in the hall, and the children`s number in the living room, half an hour later, he`d finally got it right.
He looked at me and said that I looked harrassed - harrassed, my nerves were shot and I was exhausted. The cats, still eyeing him up and down seemed to be getting ready to pounce again.I couldn`t quite believe that he had finally finished.
His parting shot was. "Your cats seem to be tigers, I`ll tell the Mrs, we`re not having a cat". "Perhaps some other animal" I suggested as I tried to shut the door rapidly.
When my husband and children returned home, and asked me if I`d had a nice day, I just stood there like a gibbering idiot, muttering "Leave me to have my nervous breakdown on my own". The cats all lying curled up, fast asleep, looking as if butter wouldn`t melt in their mouths.
Only I know the truth. My four placid cats had turned, if only for a day, into absolute monsters. In time I will tell the rest of the family what really happened, but not yet.
Marj Drummond.
The Kitten
Two little girls knocked on the door a few weeks ago and asked, "Had we seen a kitten, would we search our garden, sheds etc?". I recognised them as living further along the Avenue.
We searched with them to no avail, and as nothing more was heard, I kept an eye open for their mother,a few days later I saw their mother coming along the Avenue, with toddler brother in his pushchair.
I went outside and asked whether the missing feline had been found, "Oh yes!" mother said, "He was asleep in the Fisher Price Garage" The Moral of this story. Search the house. leave not one toy unturned.
Sue Cook.
Oscar and Fliss
My wife Susan and I were very,very lucky when Enid sent us post haste to see Teresa, where we chose {Babs & Ricky) now named Oscar and Fliss, they have both now been neutered and spayed, and are so wonderful we could burst.
It`s great for us, because we came home from living in France for 10 years, and had to leave our family of three cats behind, now living with friends, because of the high cost, and trauma of 1100mile road trip from the Mediterranean coast to Darlington, and would have lost them for 6 months in Dover (Quarantine).
Memories are very strong, and we will be forever fond of those three. Sophie, longhaired grey and white and two offspring, Twoie (2E) and Misty, Twoie was a prolific thief, bringing home flip-flops, baseball caps, bikinis and ladies undies Oo La! La!. Anything that holidaymakers left lying around was fair game to that comical little lady.
I once held up some little black lacy undies, and said to a group of friends "Look what she has brought us at lunchtime". A red faced lady guest said "They are mine", and we all cheered.
Misty was the hunter bringing home all kinds of wildlife, including live snakes, Enough said Mum. Sophie befriended all in sundry, we miss them, but thanks to Oscar and Fliss the void is filled.
David & Susan Swan.
The Stray
I was left to fend for myself, when my owners moved house and didn`t take me with them. I managed to raid dustbins to find something to eat, until one day, a very kind lady saw me, and started to feed me. At first, just once a day, then twice {pushing my luck even further} the lady allowed me to sleep in her garage. The lady had a cat who didn`t like me, so it was thought I`d be safer in the garage.
The garage was nice and warm during those long winter months, one very snowy February day I went for a stroll, it was snowing heavily, I crossed the road, didn`t see the car, he didn`t see me either. The car caught my back legs.
I could barely move, and in all that snow, couldn`t find my way back to the lady`s garage or safety. For two days I dragged myself around, not sure in which direction I was going. I finally did find the lady`s house, I was so exhausted, I collapsed outside her door.
The lady had been out looking for me, on her return she found me, saw that I was injured, so took me straight to the vets. Where it was found I had a dislocated hip. An operation was needed to place my hip bone back into it`s socket. The lady gave permission for the vet to operate.
The operation was only a partial success, it was found that my hip bone would not stay permanently in the socket, so I would always have a limp.The lady was informed, it was felt that I should not live outside any more, because of the lady`s own cat she could not take me in, but had a friend, who just might consider giving me a home.
The friend said yes, and came along and picked me up, I was given the best seat in the house, and at bedtime, I was taken upstairs to sleep on the bed. Lady had this strange alarm clock, when the alarm started, lady spoke to it and it shut off, {clever things these alarm clocks}.
I like to talk, and would talk incessantly, to the lady, the first time I heard this alarm clock, I got such a fright, I started to complain to the lady, my voice turned the alarm off, I went back to sleep, lady hadn`t heard the alarm, so slept in, she soon realised what had happend. Later that day she went into town and bought a new alarm clock, one that you have to turn off, much better, said lady, Im not so sure.
Over time my limp improved, in fact at times I didn`t limp at all. Mind, if I did something that I shouldn`t and the lady told me off, I would make sure that I spent the next few hours limping around the house, making the lady feel very guilty for telling me off.
I`m very glad this lady gave me a home, she loves me and I love her very much.
Tommy.
How to give a cat a pill
1. Pick cat up and cradle in crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat`s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks, while holding pill in palm of right hand. As cat open`s mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle catin left arm and repeat process.
3. retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of the wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emmitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down side of ruler and rub cat`s throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Hummell figures from hearth and set to onr side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with cat`s head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat`s mouth open with pencil and blow down cat`s throat threw drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse`s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbour`s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door into neck to eave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from shed and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Ring fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Remove last pill from foil wrap.
13.Tie cat`s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dinning table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves in shed, force cat`s mouth open with a small wrench. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wah pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency department, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm, and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for local cat rescue to collect cat, and ring local pet shop to see if they have any cute puppies for sale. {Do not do this only think about it.}
Contributed by Raya.
The Painter
A ginger cat was rescued by a vet after being tied to a door handle and badly kicked. The cat had broken legs, broken back, and numerous other injuries. The vet paid £3,000 for the treatment to make him well. After all the nursing and love, the vet had given to this cat, she couldn`t bear to part with him, so took him home.
He is now a very large ginger tom, who hates men.{although he doesn`t mind the vets husband}.
In late summer, the vet decided to have the outside of her house painted, and employed a painter to do this work. The morning the painter arrived, the vet saw that he had everything he needed, then left for work, informing the painter she would be home around 6pm.
At 6pm the vet arrived home to find the painter still up the ladder, painting the same window he was painting when she left that morning.
The vet shouted up to the painter to ask if everything was alright, the painter shouted back down to her, asking where the cat was. As the cat was no where to be seen, he came down the ladder to explain.
It would appear that after he had painted the window,he came down the ladder, as he reached the ground the cat attacked him. The vet could see that the painters trousers were ripped and his legs were badly scratched.
As the cat wouldn`t let him move from the ladder, he had climbed back up. The window he had painted four times, to try and pass the time, and also to keeo his mind off the cat.
Painter had been up that ladder for seven hours, he had nothing to eat or drink, he couldn1t even go to the toilet.
The vet could not apologise enough, and made a mental note that tomorrow she must keep the cat inside.
The next morning, with the cat securely locked inside, the vet waited for the painter, he did not arrive....in fact the vet never saw that painter again - I wonder why????
The Vet.
The Clever mouse
One of the more soothing things in like is watching a cat meticulously grooming itself, after eating a meal.Folklore has it that the cat once followed the human practice, known to generation upon generation of small boys, of wahing before eating, but abandoned this procedure after an experience with an usually clever mouse. The little animal, well aware of the fate awaiting it, commented that the least the cat could do was to have a wash before starting. The cat complied, but during the elaborate wahing procedure, the mouse quietly stole away. The cat, cleaner and wiser, vowed that henceforth washing would be a post-prandial operation.
Unknown.
Moving House
Not if We have anything to do with it!!
Some months ago the humans were talking about moving house, and going into town. I happend to hear this conversation and wasn`t very impressed. The cats in this House are surburbanites, Not townies {our apoligies to all you town cats}. Our idea of fun is not pounding pavements, dodging fast, endless streams of traffic, no, our idea of fun is playing in the grass outside our home, away from pavements, people and endless traffic.
Drastic action was needed; a feline union meeting was urgently called to see what, if anything could be done to put a stop to this threatened move. All the felines sat around listening to my every word, all that is except the younger ones, who thought that playing, was much more exciting than listening to boring old me. A swift slap to the top of their heads with my paw, soon brought the attention back to more important matters.
After a lenghty discussion, it was decided, that every time the humans topic of conversation got around to the subject of moving house, we would misbehave, therefore diverting their attention to us.
This worked a treat, so I have made a list of things to do, and not to do, should you find yourself in this situation, and do not want to move.
First Do:-
1. When humans are on the phone to the estate agents, purr and chatter extremely loudly as you sit beside the telephone. {Thus making it difficult for the humans to hear what the estate agent is saying}.
2. When estate agent arrives, show your instant dislike, by hissing and spitting, should estate agent dislike cats, demand to be everywhere they are. Jump on the the knee, rub around the legs and cover with hair.{If wearing a dark suit, white hair would do admirably}. Once the briefcase is open remove anything you can, rumple and tear pieces of paper any notes are made on, get in the way when estate agent tries to measure up.
Should the estate agent, on the other hand, show that they like cats, show that you don`t like them, by hissing and spitting more loudly than usual, then attack like a ferocious, forefather sabre tooth tiger, leave the teeth in the flesh for at least a minute, and don`t forget the double barrelled back legs.
3. Should it get as far as someone actually coming to see the house, then be as obnoxiousas you can, bringing into play the two previous ploys, rolled into one. After about the third couple, your humans should be so stressed out, that they decide to take the house off the market, the whole affair not being worth the hassle.
What Not To Do.
1. Run around like some mad thing, onto the chair, then onto the table. You skid, cant`t stop, and end up in a heap on the floor, no broken bones, just dignity hurt.
2. A hunger strike, no matter what is given to eat, just sniff it and walk away. All this succeeds in doing, is you being whipped off to see the vet, incase you are ill.
3. Climb the bannister, and hanging on with one paw, scream the place down - all this gets you is a telling off and the question "Have you got a death wish?".
All our attempts worked, the house is no longer on the market. We have all shown how happy we all are, by sitting and purring contentedly on our human`s knee. The moral of this tale is; All`s well that ends well.
Our house is now a very satisfied feline run household.
Marj Drummond.
Heaven
The following is a cat and mouse joke.
Apologies to everyone who loves mice.
A cat died of of old age and on arrival in Heaven, met an angel who asked if there was anything he`d like. "I`d like a soft cushion to rest my old bones on" the cat replied.
Some mice who had also been sent to Heaven, were asked the same question. "Some roller skates, so we can get around more easily" they chorused.
Later the angel asked the cat how he was getting on. "Very well, thank you, and the Meals on Wheels are delicious".
Unknown.
Lucky.
I am a very big ginger tom, and I suffer from a skin disorder, the fatty tissue under my skin keeps going haywire, causing lumps, bumps and holes to appear on my back and sides. Now this doesn`t bother me, Im not upset or distressed when this happens, I`m used to this as it happens quite often - the humans though, they are totally different, they go into total panic, should another lump, bump or hole appear, then they charge me off to the vets.
I`m that used to going to the vets, I don`t bother anymore. In fact I quite like the vets, I sit patiently in my basket, watching everything that goes on, {I`m like that, nosey - some people would call it} I like to see all the scaredy cats who cower in the back of their baskets, or dogs, who have to be dragged in to see the vet, on the subject of dogs, should one come too close to me, I soon show them who is boss.
Where was I? Oh yes, back to my story. On Easter Saturday, I was sat on the window sill, just admiring the view, when one of the humans said to the other that I looked a funny shape. How dare they? I thought, I`ve always looked like this. Panic, total panic, they rang the vet, I was to be taken theough, I was bundled into a cat basket, and off we went.
Once there, I was given an antibiotic jab, which would last until Easter Monday, when I was to go back. I enjoyed the ride, wasn`t too keen on the jab, but I put a brave face on, just to please the humans. We returned home, the fresh air had made me hungry.
Where`s my tea? I asked, as soon as they let me out of the cat basket. The humans too busy discussing what had gone on at the vets, took no notice of me, so I went and sat very purposely in the middle of the floor in the kitchen, and waited. The female human came into the kitchen, not watching what she was doing, and nearly fell over me, {that served her right}. She then decided to feed me, I`ve got her trained as she knows feeding me is the only way to get me moved from the middle of the floor.
Once fed, I settled down to sleep, only being disturbed to get my supper, before going to bed. The following day, the humans were still worried as the lump on my side hadn`t gone down any, so I was still according to them looking a funny shape. Easter Monday, off I went back to the vets, my lump hadn`t gone down any, so Mr. Geldard thought it best, If I remain at the surgery, where on Tuesday I would have a little operation, to have the lump drained.
After the operation, I was soon up and about, I didn`t like being in one of those cages, they keep sick animals in, I wasn`t sick, so I let them know that if they wanted me to stay, they would have to find me better accommodation than a cage. I started to work on Mrs. Geldard and the staff, rubbing my head on the front of the cage, and purring when anyone walked past. Humans always fall for this trick. The cage door would open, I would be given a cuddle, that`s a start. Then it was thought a little exercise would be good for me, so I was allowed a walk around.
Mrs. Geldard suggested as I wasn`t ill, I could spend some time in the office - now, that was more like it. I would be very good - i.e use those wood pellets in my litter tray {something which I won`t use under any circumstances at home} eat Whiskers dried biscuits, that I complain bitterly about at home, for being too pointed and hurting my mouth. The office was my kind of accommodation, so I wouldn`t be doing any sort of complaining.
It worked, I was allowed to stay in the office, the fire was put on for me, to keep me warm {this I liked very much}. I spent many an hour sprawled out in front of this, as they don`t have a fire at home, I`m not used to this luxury. I spent the days just lazing around. For exercise, Alison, one of the vets would bring her dog into work, when she was on duty, he also came into the office, I had to show him I was the boss, so every day he came in I would beat him up. This happened twice a day! I thought it was good fun, the dog was perhaps not so sure.......
When being in the office became a bore, the safety gate was placed at the top of the stairs, and I was given the freedom of the upstairs. Apparently, there was a feeling among the humans downstairs, I might become lost, or get in the way, as if...... Even upstairs, Mrs. Geldard did think I had got lost. I`d found my way into the airing cupboard, whereupon I settled down for a jolly good snooze, It was quite a while before I was found. After that, if I wasn`t about, I was always to be found in the airing cupboard.
My stay at the surgery lasted a fortnight, my lumps, bumps and holes had healed, at least for the time being. I was allowed to go home. I must admit I really enjoyed my stay at the vets, and would have stayed, but I knew the humans back home were missing me, and wanted me home. So I said my goodbyes and came home, where I have settled back in happily enough.
I know that I will possibly have other stays at the vets in the future, but for now I`d just like to say how enormously grateful I am to Mr. and Mrs Geldard and their staff for looking after me so well on this visit.
Lucky.
Marj Drummond.
Midnight
I was found in the grounds of a very large exclusive hotel, by a young lady.
I was taken into the hotel and placed in a cardboard box, until the lady finished work. Then she took me home and gave me some cow`s milk from a dropper, although I didn`t mind the dropper I wasn`t very keen on the milk.
While she was feeding me the lady discovered I was crawling with little orange things, which made me very itchy, so I kept having to scratch. The lady didn`t know what they were, so decided to give me a bath, to try and get rid of them. After being covered in soap, rinsed and towlled dry, I was once again placed in the cardboard box, the heating was turned full on, so I dried and didn`t get cold.
The lady knew she couldn`t keep me, I was too little and would need feeding during the day. {this lady had a living to earn}. What should she do? Who should she call? She rang the local vet, who informed her to ring the local cat rescue, and gave lady the number.
Lady rang and told them my story. Be with you in 10-15 minutes they said. As good as their word, they were at the lady`s house in 10 minutes. Being rather chilly outside, the blast of heat met them as they walked through the door. "To keep the kitten warm" the lady explained, as she showed them where the kitten was, still scratching and not very happy.
The cat rescue asked if the lady had a hair drier, which she did and proceeded to go and get it. The hair dryer was given to cat rescue, who set the hair dryer on it`s lowest setting and dried me with it. I now know the meaning of wash, set and blow dry.
Once dry, I was given the once over by cat rescue. All black, a few white hairs on my back, a little white medallion on my chest. I was turned round, Tail lifted up. "Tom" they said {they certainly don`t leave a kitten with any dignity}. Age about 3 1/2 weeks. Cat rescue asked if there were any of my brothers, or sisters, or even my Mum about, the lady informed them there was only me. I wondered about that question, I know, I did have brothers and sisters, and a Mum. Now did I misplace them, or did they misplace me? I decided not to dwell on the matter, as I was now nice and warm, no longer out in the cold.
Cat rescue said they`d call me "Midnight". With all paperwork duly signed, I now belonged to the cat rescue, and was taken off to the foster home. Being too small to go in something they call a "kitten pen" all on my own, I was given my own little house, a very large carrying box. Inside was placed a litter tray, I`d never seen one of these things before, so went to have a closer look. I found if you dig too vigorously, this litter stuff, that had been placed inside this tray, goes all over. Good game, I thought. It didn`t take me long to realise what this litter stuff was for. Cats and kittens being very intelligent creatures.
Also in this carrying box was a bed, so I`d be nice and warm, and a teddy that I could cuddle up to. Now who could ask for anything more?. Me, I was hungry, I was given some special kitten milk. I showed my disgust at that. I was hungrey, and wanted some real food. A tin of kitten food was produced. This was more like it! I sucked {kittens do at my age, not very cat-, sorry kitten-like, no manners yet, they come later} until it was all gone, then I curled up and fell fast asleep.
The following day, as these orange things - harvest mites someone said, fleas said someone else{I`ll settle for "things" it`s much easier} were still there, it was decided to try and get rid of them, by spraying flea spray onto their fingers, then rubbing me, this worked and sent those "things" scurrying to my head. There were millions, well, it seemed like millions of them. They were trying to get into my ears, eyes, nose and mouth. They were picked off me, one by one, it was thought that this would take forever, so it was decided to spray "me" with this flea spray. Yes, Yes they do know, kittens my age shouldn`t be flea sprayed - but needs must when the harvest mites bite.
After being sprayed, the stuff was then rubbed well in. I ended up looking like a "punk rocker", looking like this, I`m sure I`d be ideal for one of those commercials, just what they are looking for. Shall I ring them? Or will you?. Within minutes these "things" were falling off me, within one hour they had all gone. No more itching, no more scratching, I could now go to sleep in peace.
After a few days, I went exploring and found my way into the kitchen, where I found the bigger cats food, now do you know? Big cats don`t eat kitten food, they eat big cats food; I had a taste. Yum, I liked that, but for just a little while longer, I`ll stick to my kitten food.
I am now 7 weeks old, and have decided that I am no longer a kitten, I have made my protest. "No more kitten food". I will now only eat grown up cat food, after all, I play with the grown up cats, they are very good with me. Only giving me the odd smack, when I won`t leave them alone - so I no longer class myself as a kitten, I`m now a cat.
Midnight - The Most Grown-up Kitten sorry Cat.
Marj Drummond.
Christmas at our Foster Home
What a lovely Christmas we had! Although it was hetic and very busy, as is everyone`s Christmas, we had the pleasure of having kittens to stay. We had bought a climbing frame activity centre for the cats Christmas pressie, which the kittens loved, but they much preferred the Christmas tree - after an hour, there was not a bauble left on the tree, and the tinsel looked like it had been thrown on from a great distance! The poor fairy ended up, upside down, looking like she`d had an electric shock, with her hair sticking out, actually she could have been impersonating Ken Dodd! The kittens had a wonderful time, and we had an even better time watching the antics and acrobatics. of these womderful tiny kittens.
Teresa and Reg Searle.
Jasper
Jasper-eye view of a typical day;-
Dad`s awake - here he comes to take me upstairs and into bed with mum for a pre-breakfast cuddle - then it`s back down for freshly buttered toast {with home-made bread} - but only the smallest of soft pieces - none of that crust stuff {that`s for the dogs!}. A quick play with Bella - if she comes in, if not a game with dad - then breakfast - kitten food and kitten biscuits- now perhaps a short snooze - or watch a bit of that cat TV - {fish in tank}.......Zzzzzz.
Mum and dad do their farming chores, and walk the dogs, then we all sit in the garden if it is fine, for coffee {I`m allowed outside in the garden now - but only when mum or dad can be with me - the garden is designed to keep hens and ducks out {and me in!!!!} - a bit of light gardening- perhaps a spot of "playing" with the dogs - they`re great fun especially the older one who`s deaf and doesn`t hear me coming - extremely tasty back legs she has!!!
Lunchtime {more FOOD}, then another short snooze in the sun, if it`s nice, or if not, I`ll pop into the greenhouse with mum and plant seeds - there`s a rather nice old armchair in there, it`s very comfy and warm....Zzzzz.
What, tea-time already - gosh what a busy day I`ve had - still more FOOD then up for a short spell on the computer with mum - must get those e-mails off!!!. I can look out of the window from the top of this computer thingy - there are three horses in next door`s field - wonder if they`re any good to eat?. Whoosh - a bird - why doesn`t it come in here where it`s warm?....Zzzzz.
Mum`s waking me up again - what does she want now? - oh right - it`s time to go downstairs and sit by the fire - I wonder if Bella`s in? - perhaps she`ll be in the mood for a game {mim`s say`s I`m a bit too rough with her - but she never bites me back, just hissws a bit and boxes my ears sometimes - I simply adore her - I make my best chirruping noise at her, still never mind, perhaps when I grow up a bit? Gosh, it`s really warm here by this fire - think I`ll sit in mum`s lap for a while.......Zzzzzz.
I`t can`t be time for supper already can it - I only closed my eyes - yes it is - there go the dogs for their last call of the day - so I suppose I better just see what she`s put in my dish - oh good FOOD again.
Have to dash now - time for my human`s to get ready for bed - time for a cuddle upstairs - great things these electric blankets - So sleepy now... mum`s carrying me down.... purr, purr, purr... she`s putting me down on the sofa cushion, next to my best pal Tigger... he`s so soft and warm,....yawn....goodnight all.....Zzzzz.
Spitfire
A very large tabby tom was terrorising a "posh" neighbourhood, attacking anything that passed, be it animal or human. These attacks have been going on for over two months, and residents could take no more, war was declared on the tabby tom, who had been named "Spitfire" by the locals. We were called to remove Spitfire, we went to see for ourselves, but Spitfire was nowhere to be seen. "Must have gone" we said.
"No" came the reply, "he`s still here". The cat trap seemed to be the order of the day, so we found somewhere nice and safe for it to go. A very nice lady agreed to be responsible for the trap. We showed her how to bait and set it, then left. The lady had our phone number to get in touch as soon as she caught him.
A week went by and as we hadn`t heard from the lady, we rang her, but no, she hadn`t caught him. He`d been to have a look, but wouldn`t go in, more advice was given. Another week down the line and he had still not gone into the trap. A rethink was needed. My husband had an idea that he said, was foolproof.
At the crack of dawn we set off, to look for Spitfire. Upon arriving at his territory we split up, one of us at the top of the road, the other at the bottom end, the theory being, if Spitfire was anywhere about, one of us was sure to spot him. I didn`t think for one minute this would work, but as my own brain doesn`t function at such an ungodly hour, I decided it was best to do as he suggested.
It did work, I spotted hime in a hedge and in a loud stage whisper, I called my husband. We stood for a moment, watching Spitfire sleeping. "How do we get him?" I asked. I should have known better than ask my husband, who comes from an army background. He suggested we crawl, very slowly, towards the hedge. His thinking, was that if we were at Spitfire`s level he wouldn`t be so frightend.
Now, on this posh estate, the gardens were very long, split into a lovely lawn, then a vegetable garden, then the hedge Spitfire was under at the far end of the garden. We crept over the lawn, then got down on our stomach`s to crawl over the vegetable garden, the ground was muddy. I couldn`t help but think, what on earth had possessed me to have a shower before we left home?, Spitfire by this time was awake and watching us. My clothes were filthy, I`d got mud inside my shoes, but I didn`t want to focus on me, just Spitfire, who I was willing to stay put.
Then we heard this familiar sound, and saw blue flashing lights, heading towards us, at what appeared to be hundreds of miles an hour, and which stopped right outside the house whose garden we were in. Two nice policemen got out of their car, came over to us and asked us what we thought we were doing.
Apparently, a neighbour had reported seeing two very suspicious people, who they thought to be burglars!. "How on earth can anyone think that" I retorted, then looked at my husband and myself. I could then understand why, they might think that. I tried to explain and pointed at the hedge, and Spitfire, Spitfire had seized his opportunity and vanished. We were asked to accompany these nice policemen back to the Police Station. Before we were allowed in the back of the police car, a plastic sheet was placed over the seat and floor. The sheet was kept for use in emergencies.
Looking like refugees from jungle warfare, we entered the police station, and were taken into this room, where once again the plastic sheet made it`s appearence. We were given a cup of tea, while we related our tale of Spitfire. The nice policemen told us, that if we had rung the station first, and informed them what we planned to do, we could have saved ourselves a lot of embarrassment.
The two nice policemen then offered to take us back to our car, an offer we gratefully accepted, not wanting to be seen on the posh estate looking like we did. We were taken to the police car, and got in the back seat, but not before the plastic sheet was put back in place to cover the seat and floor.
Once back at our car we left as soon as possible, once home our clothes were placed straight into the washing machine, then upstairs for another shower, then into some clean dry clothes,we both felt ready to face the world again. On sitting down and having another cup of tea, we decided that Spitfire wasn`t going to get the better of us. We would try again tomorrow, but in daylight, and we would notify them at the police station first, just in case we were once again mistaken for burglars.
The following day we were back, Spitfire was still under the hedge. This time we just walked very slowly towards him, talking to him very quietly. He never moved, once close enough, I was able to bend down and pick him up. Now, why we hadn`t tried this yesterday, I couldn`t help but ask myself. We took Spitfire home, advertised for his owner, no one claimed him, my husband and I decided to keep him as one of our own cats, so we renamed him Thomas. All this happend several years ago, Thomas was the gentlest cat I have ever known, never once in all the years we had him did he ever attack any human or animal.
This is my tribute to my gentle giant Thomas.
E. Foster.
How to bath your Cat
Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats lick themselves clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort in their saliva, that works like new, improving Wisk-dislodging the dirt where it hides and whisking it away.
I`ve spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most blind believers, I`ve been able to discount all the facts to the contary, the kitty odours that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that cling to the throw by the fireplace.
The time comes, however: This cat smells like a port-a-potty on a hot day.
When that day arrives at your house, as it did in mine, I have some advice you might like to consider, as you place your feline friend under your arm and head for the bathroom.
1. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don`t try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. {A simple shower curtain will not do, A berserk cat can shread a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.}
2. Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls, tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.
3. Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel, when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water.
4.Use the elemeny of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. {Cats will not usualyy notice your strange attire. They have little or no onterest in fashion as a rule. If he does notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a product testing experiment}.
5. Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and suirt him with shampoo. You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.
6. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold onto him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo, and rub like crazy. He`ll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. {The national record for cats is three lathering`s, so don`t expect too much}.
7.Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point, and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact the drying is simple compared to what you hace just been through, That`s because by now the cat is semi permanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. {Occasionally. however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do, is shake him loose, and encourage him toward your leg.}After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.
In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks, and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psycho ceramic and develope the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.
You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn`t usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defences, and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath..........But at least now he smells a lot better.
Unknown.
Mischief
I am now a six year old beautiful tabby tom. My owners visited a rescue centre, looking for a kitten. I was playing with my brothers and sisters, minding my own business, when this hand came and lifted me up. I was not impressed, and struggled to be put down. That didn`t work; I puffed myself up so that I looked big and fierce. That didn`t work either, "only one thing for it" I thought, so I opened my mouth and bit the hand, with a shout of pain, the hand put me down.
The human whose hand I had bitten, thought that I had character, so decided to adopt me. I wasn`t very keen on that idea; I didn`t like the thought of leaving my brothers and sisters.
The female human didn`t appear to want to change her mind, I was placed in a cat carrying basket, and taken to my new home.
To show my disapproval, I spotted a hole in a cupboard door, just big enough for me to squeeze through. When no one was looking, through I went. It didn`t take long for the humans to realise I was missing, Panic. They searched the house, no sign, they then thought that somehow or other I must have got outside, nothing for it, they would have to go out and look for me, so off they went.
As soon as they had gone, I climbed out onto the settee, found a comfy cushion, and fell asleep. Two hours later, they returned; female human was very upset, what were they going to do? what would they tell the rescue centre?.
Then they spotted me, came over and gave me a great big cuddle, that I quite enjoyed. The female human said what a mischief I was. That was when I was given my name "Mischief".
Over the past six years I have lived up to my name, I have been stuck under the floor, when the humans decided to put new floorboards down in the bathroom. The chimney sweep came to sweep the chimney, I watched. After he had gone, I thought that it looked rather interesting, so went gor a look - no I didn`t get stuck, just black.
I have been stuck up a tree on numerous occassions, waited until the humans produced a ladder, and proceeded to climb up, then I would come down a completely different way - all on my own!.
I love my life, and I love my humans, {Although I would never tell them that}. I am very happy my humans picked me. Now, what can I get up to next?........
Mischief. A very contented cat.
The Hairies
with Dr. Kit Von Kat, Professor Herr Ball
& eminent cat psychologist, Claude Badly.
Welcome to "On the Couch" where our eminent, International feline experts provide the solutions to the stranger and lesser known ailments particular only to the feline race.
Foreword by Professor Ball,
Germany`s leading feline expert.
"...... Having conquered cat flu, triumphed over tapeworm and braved behavioural quirks, it is time to focus attention on some oft-observed, but little-documented, afflictions of our feline friends......"
The Hairies.
Symptoms: A complaint which takes hold of the cat very suddenly - and is instantly transmitted to the nearest human. Curiously, the conditions surrounding this particular ailment usually find the human and cat alone in the living room/
bedroom/kitchen late at night. More often than not. there`s probably a violent thunderstorm right overhead and the lights keep dimming. The affected cat will wake with a start from sleep and stare intently at the door or window, ears twirling around like radar. In a second, the
"Hairies" {as in the hairs on the back of your neck are standing up} are passed to the human companion. Your pulse races, your heart hammers and much looking into darkend corners ensue.
Treatment: Thankfully, a very effective cure is available. Move quickly around the house and switch on all the lamps and lights, turn on the TV, radio, microwave, dishwasher, hoover, etc., all while talking loudly to yourself. The cat will be so alarmed at your odd behaviour, that it will instantly forget its attack of the hairies, and instead, turn its attention to you, thereby dissolving your attack of the hairies.
We have also been doing some in-depth research on the many disorders which affect cats of all ages. There are no cures for these disorders, which cats consider to be perfectly normal parts of feline behaviour. Just administer plenty of TLC and have plenty of patience; some syndromes will clear up over time....or not as the case may be.
Feline Dependent Disorder:
The "I must be near you all the time" Syndrome
This cat is worse than a clingy human 2 year old.
It believes that your lap, shoulder or head was created for the sole purpose of catnapping on and will attempt to climb into, or onto, whichever piece of your anatomy is most easily available. It will follow you everywhere, including the bathroom, and if, by chance it gets shut out
it will cry in pathetic desperation in the sure knowledge that it will never see you again. Then, as if believing it can`t live without at least one part of it being in the same room with you, it will squeeze a paw beneath the door, moving the extended appendage to and fro like a starving man`s plea for food.
Note: Cat owners wearing an ounce or more of cat fur on their clothing probably own a dependent cat. These cats can be used as wigs or, on cold days, as fur hats. They also make excellent hot water bottles on winter nights as everyone knows that cats can breathe through several layers of blanket, or a 13 Tog duvet without the aid of a snorkle.
Feline Paranoid Disorder or Scaredy Cat:
The "Everyone`s out to get me Syndrome.
This cat is afraid of it`s own shadow, afraid of your shadow and afraid of you if you happen to get a new haircut or swap contact lenses for glasses. It is also scared of spiders, ping-pong balls and its brand new food bowl; on really bad days it`s even afraid of its food. Look out if you cast a shadow on your cat the same day you go to the hairdresser/optician, have to replace its food bowl, or buy a different brand of catfood.
Note: Owners of Paranoid cats have hairstyles that went out of style at least a decade ago, buy a lifetime`s supply of one brand of catfood that doesn`t induce terror in their cat and introduce people to their cats as; "This very nice person". Cats aren`t fooled by the latter, they KNOW
that the vet is not a very nice person and is about to ram a cold thermometer somewhere the sun doesn`t shine.
That`s all for this issue but do join us next time, when our experts will be telling us how to cope with more Feline Disorders, Until then, look after those cats!
Unknown,
Cat Laws
Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion.
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direstion.
Law of Magnetism.
All Blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direst proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat Stretching.
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
Laws of Cat Sleeping.
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
Law of Cat Elongation.
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
Law of Cat Obstruction.
A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.
Law of Acceleration.
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
Law of Dinner Table Attendance.
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
Law of Rug Configuration.
No rug may remain in it`s natural flat state for very long.
Law of Obedience Resistance.
A cat`s resistance varies in proportion to a human`s desire for her to do something.
First Law of Energy Conservation.
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
Second Law of Energy Conservation.
Cats also know that energy can be stored by a lot of napping.
Law of Refrigerator Observation.
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
Law of Random Confort Seeking.
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
Law of Cat Embarrassment.
A cat`s irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment, times the amount of human laughter.
Law of Furniture Replacement.
A cat`s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
Law of Cat Landing.
A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid-section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.
Law of Cat Disinterest.
A cat`s interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
Law of Pill Rejection.
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Law of Composition.
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn`t Matter.
Legend And Folk Lore Of North Wales.
The Heron, The Bramble And The Cat.
One day a farmer was at work cutting the hedges on the side of the road
between Bangor and Llanllechid. A Bramble was clinging to hos trousers, and a passer-by saw him and heard him say "Get away, you old bramble! Haven`t I paid you your tithe?"
The passer-by was interested and asked the farmer why he spoke to the bramble in that manner. Then the farmer asked:
"Have you ever heard the story of the heron, the bramble and the cat?". The other replied that he had not.
This is the story the farmer told.
Once upon a time, the heron, the bramble and the cat bought the tithe of a certain parish. The Heron bought the hay. She mowed it herself, harvested it and cocked it. Then she let it lie overnight, intending to come and carry it away on the following day, but in the night a great storm broke out and the heavy rains that fell carried her hay-cocks away.
Ever since that day, the heron frequents the banks of the rivers and lakes or any marshy ground, searching for her lost hay, and crying, "Pay me the tithe! Pay me the tithe!"
The cat bought the oats of the parish. She cut them, gathered them and threshed them. Then she left them in the barn, for she was too tired to do any more that day. But during the night the rats and mice had come to the barn and they had eaten up every single grain.
When the cat came in the morning she set upon the rats ans mice and fought with them, crying, "Pay me my tithe! Pay me my tithe!" That is the reason why cats and mice are always at strife even to this day!.
Now the bramble was rather luckier than either the heron or the cat. The bramble bought the wheat of the parish. She cut it, and bound it, she threshed it, and then she put it into sacks and took it off to the market. What was more, she sold it! But unfortunately for her, she only sold it on trust and she never got the money, for she forgot to whom she had sold it. That is why the bramble clings to any passer-by that comes her way hoping it might be the one to whom she sold her wheat on trust! She clings with all her might and cries "Pay me my tithe! Pay me my tithe!"
So if you are ever walking in a country lane and a bramble clings to your clothes, all you must say is "Get away, bramble! I have paid my tithe!" and it will let you go!
"The grey old man in the chimney corner
Of his father heard this story,
Which from his father he had heard,
And after them have I remembered".
So now I tell it unto you!.
Hilda A. E. Roberts.
The Zombie Cuddle From Outta Bed.
6.00am I can`t get up. The Zombie Cuddle monster from Outta Bed is snuggled next to me, purring in that self-satisfied way that cats do when they don`t want to be disturbed. It works. How can I disturb such an obviously comfortable cat?. I would spend the rest of my life suffering from guilt for such insensitive behaviour.
Cats may well be superior to hot water bottles in that they don`t cool down half way through the night, but hot water bottles have the advantage of not kneading your stomach, kicking your naval or insisting on not being disturbed when you need to get up. Nor do hot water bottles get out of bed at 3 a.m. to go to the loo in a rain storm, and return with cold, wet fur and even chillier paws which they proceed to defrost on a toasty human.
Somehow, at 10 p.m. every night, Sappho is transformed into a Zombie Cuddle Monster and sits on the bed wailing until I join her, a tradition started by her predessor, the late and much lamented Scrapper who looked - and acted - like a rather battered teddy-bear. By midnight we have a collection of 3 cats - 2 petending to be hotties and 1 curled round the top of my head. No wonder I walk like the hunchback of Notre Dame in the morning. Why, if cats are so much smaller than human`s, do they take up a human-sized space in bed?
7.OOa.m. Dying to go to the loo - I really must get up. Kitty is nursing a litter of slippers on the sheepskin rug, dribbling into them and purring loudly. I fidget, hoping somewhat futilely that Sappho will decide it`s time for breakfast and get up. No such luck, she is still Zombie Cuddle Monster and just snuggles tighter into my stomach. And why should she get up at this hour?. She doesn`t have to work for a living.
John extracts himself from the bed. His feline hotty, Affy, rolls purring into the vacant warm space. Must remember - the lumps in the duvet are not all air-puffs. How can cats breathe when they sleep head down under the duvet?. I can`t.
7.20 a.m.Nothing else for it I have tp get up - NOW. Manage to ease myself out of bed leaving cat undisturbed. Cat snuggles into warm patch left by departing person. I arrange duvet to leave a breathing space. Duvet begins to purr in stereo.
Sappho, aka Zombie Cuddle Monster, was found clinging to her dead owner in a unheated flat, trying to wake the old lady up. The local constabulary turfed the 12 year old cat out into the January snows: the theory being that cats look after themselves. The shivering Sappho I adopted was thin, scared and snuffling.
The Sappho that now stakes a claim to my side of the bed is pleasantly rotund, but determined never to be cold again. For several weeks she nudged me awake each night to chesck that I was alive. Now, woe betide anyone who dares to wake HER up. hey risk being forcibly snuggled by a furry feline furnace.
In winter, she only leaves the bed to perform her ablutions or eat. Sometimes she simply grabs a chunk of food from the bowl and takes it to bed with her, to consume under the covers like a child with illicit sweets. I know she`s doing it because she leaves the bed full of cat-food crumbs.
7.40 a.m. Affy has emerged from the bed looking rather dishevelled. Sappho is snoring and Kitty is dribbling into my work shoes. Sappho will take breakfast in bed if room service will oblige. Room service won`t oblige. Okay, Sappho will come down for breakfast later, probably around midday.
Having eaten, the other two head back for the bed before it cools down too much. Affy sits on the air-puff that isn`t an air-puff. The air-puff growls and moves. Affy fights the moving lump through the duvet. The air-puff falls out of the side of the duvet, turning into a cat as it hits the floor. Sappho might take breakfast after all. She needs to keep her strength up for a hard day`s snoozing.
Sarah Hartwell.
Howie The Persian.
The Hicks family of Adelaide, Australia, before going on a long overseas holiday, dropped their Persian cat Howie, off with their parents, who lived over one thousand miles away from Adelaide.
Moths later when the Hicks family returned, and were ready to pick Howie up, they found that Howie had escaped in his second week of visiting.
Howie was an indoor cat, who had never seen a dop, and never hunted anything more substantial than a housefly.
The family were heartbroken, and searched for him
for a month without success. Having returned to Adelaide, their home was not the same, but they could not bring themselves to get another cat.
A year passed, then one afternoon, they found a miserable looking longhaired cat, with a wounded
paw, and who was filthy and starved.
When their daughter Kirsten came home from school
and saw the cat, she stopped, then ran forward screaming out "Howie! Howie!".
Kirsten`s mother was shocked, could this stragly
cat be their pedigree Persain?
It was Howie. In the twelve months it had taken
Howie to make the one thousand mile trek home, the pampered Persain had somehow forded rivers, crossed two tracts of hostile desert and fought his way through the vast wilderness of the Austrailian outback. He knew where his home was and neither distance nor danger could keep him from coming back.
A trip to the vet, and lots of food and love, and soon he looked again like the proud Persain King of his household.
Unknown. This Is A True Story.
Calm For Cats.
Don`t do anything today, that can be put off until another life.
Never attack a hegehog.
by Stuart & Linda Macfarlane. |
