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BARBWIRE CATS. By DAVID PERRY, MOJAVE DESERT. U.S.A.
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Cat`s Top Ten Favourite Christmas Carols.
 Here you are Cat Pop Pickers. What you`ve been waiting for.
The Cat`s Top Ten Favourite Christmas Carols.
Starting with:-
Number 10 Up On The Mousetop.
Number 9 Have Yourself A Furry Little Christmas.
Number 8 Joy To The Curled.
Number 7 I Saw Mummy Hiss At Santa Claws.
Number 6 The First Meow.
Number 5 Oh, Come All Ye Fishfull.
Number 4 Silent Mice.
Number 3 Fluffy, The Snowman.
Number 2 Jingle Balls.
Here it is Cat Pop pickers, the Number 1 Greatest
Cat Christmas Carol of all times.
Number 1 Wreck The Halls!
Merry Christmas To All You Cat And Kitten Pop
Pickers.
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Cat Toy Bells.
 | Dashing through the house,
And Jumping high and low,
We chase a cat nip mouse,
As fast as we can go.
The mouse is old and worn,
And we bit off it`s tail,
What fun to rip the stuffing out,
And leave a catnip trail!
Chorus:
Oh, cat toy bells, cat toy bells,
Ringing loud and clear,
Oh, what fun, to play and pounce
When Christmas time is here!
I found a fuzzy ball,
That jingled when it bounced,
I rolled it down the hall,
And when it stopped I pounced.
The ball stayed where it lay,
I`d tired it out at last,
And then it tried to get away,
But I was much too fast!
Chorus:
Oh, cat toy bells, cat toy bells,
Ringing loud and clear.
Oh, what fun to play and pounce,
When Christmas time is near! |
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The Twelve Days Of Christmas....1
 | On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my Mistress gave to me.....
Twelve toys from Macys.
Eleven mice a running.
Ten balls of yarn all tangled.
Nine frogs aleaping.
Eight dogs on leashes.
Seven pounds of catnip.
Six cans of sardines.
Five...litter...pans.
Four strutting birds.
Three quarts of milk.
Two chicken breasts.
And a pheasant under glass beneath the tree.
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Deck The Hawls.
 | Deck the hawls with tails of mousies!
Tra lala la la lala lala
Tis the seesun to eat pouncies
Tra lala la la lala lala.....
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The Twelve Days Of Christmas....2
 | On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my Human gave to me.....
Twelve cans of tuna.
Eleven furry cat toys.
Ten shiny ribbons.
Nine cat dancers.
Eight bowls of cream.
Seven goldfish swimming.
Six litter boxes.
Five...catnip...mice.
Four scratching posts.
Three cat treats.
Two cozy beds.
And a delux new cat tree. |
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Silent Mouse.
 | Silent mouse, little grey mouse.
How you creep around my house.
Don`t you know, you`re a plaything to me.
Don`t you know I`m your enemy.
Better get out while you can.
Better get out while you can.
Silent mouse, little grey mouse.
Still you creep,round my house.
I`m so tired of you squeaking.
This will be your last warning.
Better get out while you can.
Silent mouse, little grey mouse.
All is calm, round my house.
From your hole you silently crept.
From the shadows I silently leapt.
I can sleep in peace.
I can sleep in peace.
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The Twelve Days Of Christmas....3
 | On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my Kitten gave to me....
Twelve minutes purring.
Eleven broken knick-knacks.
Ten well-chewed ribbons.
Nine furry hairballs.
Eight midnight frolics.
Seven soggy cat toys.
Six piles of cat poop.
Five...headless...mice.
Four shredded chairs.
Three feathers.
Two vets bills.
And a toppled over Christmas tree. |
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Wreck The Halls.
 | Wreck the halls and steal the ribbons.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Christmas time`s such fun for kittens.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
We like to help you with the wrapping.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
No fair do it when we`re napping.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
So many gifts beneath the tree.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Is there a present just for me.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Rip the wrap to sneak a peek.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Is it a fuzzy toy I seek.
Fa la la la la, la la la la. |
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The Twelve Days Of Christmas....4
 | On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my Human gave to me.......
Twelve bags of catnip.
Eleven tarter pounce treats.
Ten ornaments hanging.
Nine wads of Kleenex.
Eight peacock feathers.
Seven stolen Q-tips.
Six feathered balls.
Five...milk jug...rings!!!
Four munchy house plants.
Three running faucets.
Two fuzzy mousies.
And a Hamste-e-er in a plastic ball!!! |
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'Twas The Night Before Christmas.
 | 'Twas the night before Christmas.
And all through the house.
Not a creature was stirring.
Not even a mouse.
'Cuz the cat had pounced on him.
And tore him apart---
Ate his mousey intestines.
And chewed up his heart.
Kitty thought he heard sleighbells.
Which made him take pause---
He stopped daintilly licking.
The blood from his claws.
"Must be Santa" though Kitty.
{That quite clever cat}
"Cuz no one else climbs down.
The chimney like that.
Indeed it was ol' Santa.
So jolly and fat.
With a huge load of presents.
And all for the cat!
"Wow, the best Christmas ever!"
Kitty thought with a purr.
Then he coughed up a hairball.
And shed some more fur. |
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To The Vet`s.
 | Sing to the tune of "Jingle Bells"
Dashing to the vet's in a brand new red sports car.
We have no litter box; I hope it isn`t far...
I`ll scream and claw and cry, to make them all feel bad.
While plotting in my tiny brain to make the vet go mad!
Chorus:
To the vet's, to the vet's, to the vet's we go.
If I had a choice in this, I'd rather just say "no-o"!
To the vet's, to the vet's, to the vet's we go.
Why must we always do this? You know I hate it so!
They check my fur for fleas; they check my ears for mites;
They give me losts of shots; I give them lots of bites;
They want to see my eyes; they want to see my teeth;
They check out every inch of me, above and underneath.
Chorus:
To the vet's, to the vet's, to the vet's we go.
If I had a choine in this, I'd rather just say "no-o"!
To the vet's, to the vet's, to the vet,s we go.
Why must we always do this? You know I hate it so.
Sent to us by Andrea Atkinson. |
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A Christmas Poem.
 | T'wa the night before Christmas at Fix'em-up Vets.
Lots of creatures are stirring, they're not quiet yet.
A medi-kit is stored in reception with care.
Just in case someone needs it, I know that's it's there.
Other medicines were stowed, patient's records put back.
So I went to the office to snooze with the cat.
Then all of a sudden, the doorbell did chime.
Twice more, quite insistent, then a third and a fourth time.
I jumped to my feet, ignored the cat's objections
Jammed on my trainers and flew to reception.
The bell rang again, before I got to the door.
Then I saw who was there and my jaw hit the floor
In the snow stood a fellow with a white flowing beard.
In a jolly red suit and with nine sick reindeer
"Pardon me" said the man "my name is Saint Nick
I've a bit of a problem I'm hoping you'll fix".
At a nod of his head, they all came through the door.
Slipped on the tiles, and then fell on the floor
Poor Dasher was coughing and Dancer was sneezing
Prancer was sniffing and Vixen was wheezing.
Comet was limping, and Cupid fitting and seizing
Donner's head was a-tilt - it was quite past believing.
When I looked at Blitzen, I had no trouble seeing
That the poor straining reindeer, had a big problem peeing.
One last look around showed one more at the door
With a nose turned quite white, and glowing no more.
"You've found the right place," I said. For you see, few vet's are open this late on Christmas Eve.
With X-Rays, and ointments, dispensed here and there.
I handed out tablets to nine sickly reindeer;
Soon all were recovered, and raring to go.
And with sleigh bells a-jingle, trotted into the snow.
"There you are Mr. Claus, all fixed in a blink
Will that be cash, cheque or credit, for your bill do you think?.
He reached in his pocket, and pulled out a long list.
"Were you good? bad? indifferent?" then he glanced at his wrist.
"My goodness I'm late!" said the now jolly fellow
"Can you send me the bill? There'll be payment to follow!".
Before I could answer, as quick as a blink.
The man disappeared with a smile and a wink.
I ran to the door, and peered into the night.
To see nine healthy reindeer, lifting off into flight.
As I turned to come in, a voice called through the night.
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night"
Unknown. Sent to us by Helen Finch. |
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Cat Friendly Christmas Decorating.
 To your cat, the holidays mean a home brimming with irresistible sparkles, jingles, crinkles, and yummy smells. So keep a close eye on your curious cat/kitten while keeping these things in mind:
• Cats climb trees, so make sure yours (your tree, not your cat) is secured to a wall, curtain rod, or railing.
• Tinsel, ribbon, popcorn strings, metal hooks, pine needles, and glass, if ingested, can obstruct or even perforate the intestines. Use alternatives or hang out of reach.
• Electrical cords, if chewed, can electrocute. Encase in tubing made of thick plastic.
• Chocolate, alcohol, and cooked bones are toxic and potentially deadly if swallowed.
• Candles can be knocked over, leading to obvious hazardous results.
A Little Thought Can Keep Your Cat/Kitten Safe At Christmas.
© Cat Age
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Do Not Buy Or Give A Kitten As A Christmas Present.
 Think that adorable kitten in the pet-store window will make the perfect gift for someone you know?
Before you put a ribbon around Kitty's neck, consider this: Many pets given as gifts wind up abandoned or in shelters, because owners are unable or unwilling to care for them. Even if the recipient has been considering pet adoption, he or she should be the one making the decision about being the new parent of a fuzzy bundle of joy. Unlike a toy or a toaster, which can be returned, a cat is a living creature that requires a long-term commitment.
Please Be A Responsible Person. A Cat Or Kitten Is A Living Creature. NOT A Present. Most Presents Are Discarded After Christmas. Cats And Kittens Are No Different.
Please Consider A Cat Or Kitten Is For LIFE.
© Cat Age |
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