Its here !

Following the article in the Gazette about our annual gala dinner, we have had several enquiries regarding the relevance of the former soviet republic of Tchyebelenda in the cheese world and its connection with Wolsingham Wedgies. We are now pleased to announce that through our Tchyeblendan intercourse, Wolsingham Cheese Club have been given a unique opportunity to become cheese makers in their own right with exclusive world-wide rights to the recipe for Tchyebelenda’s unique comestible. This unique recipe thought to be from the 12th century for a cheese made from goats milk, was graciously donated to the Club at the dinner. The document is written in French and after translation it was found that the cheese was made by priests of the order of St. Agur. The cheese can only be made from the milk of the Tchyeblendan Brown-fur Tailless goat and due to the pagan religious restrictions, the goat can only be milked on the 2nd and 4th Saturday of the month. The process involves the animals being milked as soon as possible after midnight on Friday as the milk starts to ferment in the goats’ udders in the intervening period, and it is the first highly fermented milk taken from each animal that is used to make the special cheese. The process is a tightly kept secret because of the method of manufacture. Samples have been tried by the Cheese Club and have been described as creamy with an unusual bouquet, not like the mustiness of ordinary goats cheese. The Cheese Club had previously tried to import the cheese but, due to the excessive import duties within the EU and sanitary regulations, this was not possible. However, our esteemed dinner guest, Count Mojoverkynk, discovered that a farmer in upper Weardale, close to the secret venue of our gala dinner, had a small herd of twenty three goats. Until Count Mojoverkynk’s visit, the farmer was unaware of the significance of the goats, as they were more or less just pets. He has been contacted by the Cheese Club, and has agreed to milk the goats and to deliver the milk to a local dairy for process in the original manner, at the appropriate times. The location of the goats is being kept secret; the farmer involved and the dairy have signed a contract along with the Cheese Club not to divulge any information of any kind to any one or any organisation. In order to optimize the production of this new delicacy for the benefit of local business, it will be exclusively available to Dalesfolk from Butlers Pantry in Wolsingham. With only twenty-three goats, the amount produced each time is minimal so until more can be bred the cheese will be in short supply. The price of the cheese is 55,000 Tchyebelendan Zsonks per truckle (or “Shyot” as the Tchyebelenden equivalent is known). The Cheese Club are the first outside the Tcheblendan region to be given status to make this cheese. Chief Truckle of the Cheese Club has said "This is an opportunity that comes along once in a lifetime, we hope the Count Mojoverkynk and his staff will come back and try a “shyot” of the first batch when it is made. We are mere ordinary dalesfolk with a liking for cheese and to be offered the chance to bring one of the rarest cheeses in the world to Weardale and be responsible for its distribution makes us proud".