Man in the Dugout reports 2000-01
New kit launched
Fixtures 2000 - 01
Your prayers please
Your Prayers Answered
Club Badge
Awards - Yes, we did win one!
2001 - 2002 - A Street Odyssey Continues
Fixtures 2001-02
Could this Be The Year? Reports 2002-03
2002-03 Fixtures and Results
Support Our Sponsors
2003-04: European Union
2003-04: Results, Fixtures
Roma Therapy
The Greatest Football Tournament in the World
2004-2005: Attack of the Minty Badgers
Street's New Training Regime
Meet the team!
Union Street's festive picture gallery!
The Union Street Awards 2004/05!
der Mann in heraus gegraben DAM diary 2005
2005-06: When badgers learn to fly
Street Talk
Knee-Jerk Reaction: Ben's Countdown to Germany 2006
Bolz WM Gonzo Diary
Pre-Seasonal Tension
2006-07: MInty Badgers Save the World
Plumbing new depths
Direkt Von Dem Dugout - Koln 2007
Union Street Awards: Season 2006 - 2007
2007-08: For a Few Seasons More
Message Board
Guestbook
Event Calendar
Mail Form
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And the Street Goes On...
Welcome to a bright shiny new season Street fans, and as the Mighty Chic would have it:
Rhumba
and Tango
Latin Hustle Too
Yowsah Yowsah Yowsah
I wanna Street witchoo
The saga continues, and Union began the season in optimistic vein after several successful close season friendlies and an ever evolving lineup. As Mr Paul Young once reminded us, "Everything Must Change", but this is not true for the Street - only some things. We said goodbye, or maybe au revoir, to old stalwarts while welcoming new recruits to the cause, and lined up for our first game of the season with the obligatory scratch 11-only lineup against a tricky Morris Motors Reserves side with a squad and average age approaching 20.
Things looked bleak as the Motors, fuelled by youth, sought an opening in the brick wall Street defence. But it was Street who took the lead with a snapshot from Gem De Silva, that goal separating the teams at half time.
Somewhat unsettled by this unusual state of affairs, and without their characteristic immediate collapse after the interval, the Street continued to frustrate the Motors and a breakdown looked on the cards. Then a blunder by the 4th choice goalie 'Safe Hands' Birnie allowed the Motors back in.
The Motors were galvanised into a succession of assaults on the Street goal, and despite valliant efforts, Street went down 3-1. Plenty to take from the game though, such as sore feet due to the hard surface. Onward and Upward lads!
...and here arer the mighty Chic |  |
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Wars and rumours of wars - Street Battle On
As Paul Hardcastle would have said, back in the days of the short-lived mid-eighties viet-electro scene:
"In the first two seasons, the average nomber of US (Union Street) combat players was an eleven-team.
On Saturday September 14th 2002 at the Tet (sworth) offensive it was a nine-team.
N-n-n-n-n-n-nine team"
Those nine men played their hearts out against a strong Tetsworth lineup, leaving the field with their heads held high despite a harsh 6-0 scoreline. Each of those men were heroes, and their performance will not have been in vain. Yes, it was a bleak day for the Street, exacerbated by the loss of a second team ball in as many weeks.
Never have so few lost by so many to so many for such little reward in front of so few. But those who were there can at least say: "I was there."
And here is Mr Paul Hardcastle. Sadly he could not make it to the game either.
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Friar We Waiting?
That was the plaintive cry from the bosom of the Street supporters, as Street's woeful lack of finishing was shown up in a game they should have wrapped up, but lost 1-0.
Marston Friar displayed the 'Cavalier' attitude to the beautiful game we have come to know and be wary of. Refereed by a lad young enough to mathematically potentially accurately refer to a few players on the Street team as 'pops' if not 'Granpaw', cards were marked with the sort of frequency usually only seen in Reno or Atlantic City.
Still on the balance of chances, Street were clear winners. But like the man said, chances don't win matches. Let's hope Sam Cooke's words from all those years ago ring true for the Street. In the sense that they start scoring, rather than as happened to him they get shot dead.
"It's been a long time coming,
but I know
Change gonna come. Oh yes it is."
The one and only Sam Cooke
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A Mini Crisis for the Street
Street fans resorted to an old folk ballad as they bemoaned another 1-0 defeat at the hands this week of East Oxford.
"And it's no, nay, never
No nay never no more
Will we score up at Rover
No never, no more"
Their pessimism can hardly be critiicised, as Street squandered chance after cast-iron chance in the melting pot atmosphere of the East derby. Polished finishing was sadly only evident in the BMW plant itself as the two teams looked to be playing out a 0-0. 15 minutes to go and East sprang the offside, leaving Street wishing they could match the strike power for which the car plant was so renowned all those years ago.
Any 'wild rovers' out there up for doing a job for the Street? PS top marks to East's stand-in ref. Here is a Trophy Yellow TF120, with optional 11 spoke alloy wheels...a really wild Rover.
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Hammer Time!
Hip Hip Hooray, Union Street scored today! After going over 300 minutes without a goal, Street slammed their way back into scoring ways against new boys Horton-cum-Studley with a wicked free kick from Alex 'The Hammer' Cobham. In fact, in view of his proto-Scottish origins, he might be described as Mc Hammer.
1-0 up, and everything looked rosy for the Street - for about a minute. That was how long their lead lasted, as Studley unlocked the Street defence on six occasions.
One to forget on the whole - but at least we had one to remember.And who could forget MC Hammer himself?
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My Favourite Marshians
New boys to the RT Harris Dukla Marsh sent the senior members of the Street squad into reveries of nostalgia, as they were reminded of the early days: gentlemanly conduct, weekly drubbings, 'never say die' attitude - in short, a lovely bunch of lads. Yes, those were the days, and indeed, as it were, still are. That is, they were until this week.
Whereas in the past all Union players had was a dream, this week they took a giant leap closer to making that dream reality with an efficient and comfortable disposal of the Martians.
4-0 was the scoreline, Street's most convincing ever, and for once they were the ones after the final whistle who were able to make patronising comments to the opposition such as 'hang in there' and 'no, you really are quite good'.
With this result, like Curtis Mayfield, Union Street 'Move on up towards their destination' - that is to say, midtable mediocrity - can it really be so?
The mighty Mayfield:
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Dukla 'Marsh' On In Doug Hobbs
"This game had everything" - That was the verdict of those who witnessed this Doug Hobbs Cup clash - the second 'Battle of the Marsh' in as many weeks. If it's a crime to be exciting, Street must hold their hands and admit: "Guilty as charged."
To coin a phrase of m'learned friend Justice Lloyd Grossman, let's look at the evidence:
Hauling back a 2 goal deficit to lead 3-2 with five minutes left? Guilty!
Conceding a craaaazy equaliser with the final whistle almost at the ref's tremulous lips? Guilty!
Hanging on in extra time after heroic injuries? Guilty!
Losing on penalties by one - that narrowest of margins? Guilty!
If the game was judged on excitement alone, Street's sentence would surely be 'To be taken from this place and to hang on in the Doug Hobbs until declared dead." As it is, Street's dreams of the League and Cups quadruple must now be curtailed to the mere treble.
To paraphrase the words of Whitney 'Blankets' Houston:
Didn't we almost have it all
When flawed genius was all we had worth giving?
And here is the lovely Whitney:
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Street Box Clever
After last week's faltering, if dramatic display against the Marshians, it looked as though the Street might struggle again today in some cup sponsored by Disney....for about 10 minutes. Conceding an early goal seemed to be just the impetus street needed to awaken them into a venomous response.
Floating like butterflies, stinging like bees, the Union boys had the game all but won by the half-time, having redressed the balance to 3-1. Their 'rope-a-dope' tactics in the second half saw them allow Dukla to come on to them only to counter with frightening pace which led to several gilt-edged chances.
However, the scoreline remained as it had been, with Dukla defeated by a knockout and Street marching on.
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Ten-Man Union Score Four!!
An amazingly open game: Street welcomed ultra-near neighbours St Clements to the Sandylanium of Light, and despite their lack of numbers, they set about the opposition creating chance after chance. Sadly none quite hit home, and the lads from down the road led by a soft 'bobble' and a penalty at the time traditionally calling for oranges and lemons.
Where the first half was merely entertaining, the second approached the sort of experience that would otherwise only be achieved by means immoral, illegal, or preferably both. A nine-goal frenzy ensued. St Clements quickly ran up a 5-0 lead, then the never-say-die Street tore into the opposition, getting back to within two goals at 5-3 then 6-4.
Fittingly perhaps, the last kick of the game was an exquisite chip from the Clementines' centre forward to finish it at 7-4 and cap a most memorable game.
Hey Street, 14 goals in 4 games speaks for itself - as the almighty Eddie Kendricks would have it: 'Keep on Truckin' Baby!'
And check out Temptations-meister Kendricks. Surely a Union man if ever there was one.
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Street Play Badly And Win Shock
Another sweet Street treat at the Sandy Lane arena as yet again the boys of Union took on all that Dukla Marsh could throw at them in a cup encounter and wound up winners.
Things stood all square at 90 minutes after Marsh had played the better football, but had allowed Street a fortuitous equaliser following the kind of goalkeeping howler that would normally only be seen in Junior football.
Penalties looked to be on the cards again, as the referee awarded Street a penalty with only milliseconds remaining. Street's 'Reet Petite' Richard stepped up to take the kick and unceremoniously ballooned it over the bar. But wait, the ref wanted it retaken - the Marshians had been encroaching. He thusly condemned the Duklatians to an early exit with the last kick of extra time - as the deadly 'Little' Richard made no mistake with the retaken penalty. It went, as Bing Crosby would say, 'straight down the middle' of the goal and into the net.
FORE!!
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Ref Gets Rapped On
Street just failed to hold on in the gloomy November mire as North's reserves, top of the table no less, squeezed a winner - the pus from a particularly aggressive boil that was the very resolute Union team - running out 2-1 winners.
This normally friendly fixture was made to appear more fractious than it in fact was as it featured a sending off of a North player - the unshutuppable 'Macca' - for dissent.
Street knew this ref of old - let's just say he's not known for his indulgence of sustained protest - but Macca was blind to his rapidly rising impatience. His entertaining verbal volley was greeted with a straight red. Heroically, he remained unmuzzleable, and continued his fulminating foray from the sidelines.
The Man in the Dugout Comments:
"Take a long, hard look in the mirror, ref. Free speech is the foundation upon which our great country stands or falls, and Macca's harsh punishment is reminiscent of the treatment of the likes of the Pistols, NWA, and of course Citizen Smith. Chill b4 u ill."
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Bakels Break Union Hoodoo
Bakels Crusaders ended their long history of never having beaten the Street with a 3-2 win at the Sandylanium of Light. Crusaders they may be, unbeaten they may remain, but it was the mighty Street who were the lionhearts in this game. Their defending was more than just stout, it was of the Dublin Genius variety. Save for the three goals they let in. In reply, Street launched wave after wave of occasional counter-attack, resulting in a goal apiece for Chris 'No 9' Bartlett and the McHammer, as well as several near misses.
Playing well and getting no points is frustrating, but the last two games have been against the best we've seen in this league. Street, no doubt about it, have the potential to go all the way to at least third from bottom.
This week's song? Has to be
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Come Back!
There is passion, and then there is the Street.
There is 'never say die' attitude, and then there is the Union.
There are phoenixes, or should that be phoenices, or indeed phoenes, rising from the ashes, and then there is the mighty Union Street's second half performance against Studley this week.
4-1 adrift at the interval, their only goal courtesy of a rare old header from 'Coops', any other team might have choked. But not the Street. They know not the meaning of the words 'give up'. Such adversity is but grist to the mill of Union steel, forged from an iron will, tempered by their inherent sense of fairplay .
All played their part as they roared into the Studley defence. Two goals from Karol 'the King' and the equaliser from the McHammer sealed the draw. This team's place in history is thus assured, as they become the first Streets to reach the magic figure of seven points before Christmas.
A great 'comeback' - by the Equals (of anyone on their day). Here they are in 1968:
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Donnington Rock the Sandylanium of Light
Street handed some lovely early Xmas presents to the Donnington Old Boys, as they slipped to a 3-1 defeat in this less than memorable encounter.
Donnington are the kind of RT Harris journeymen that a slicker Street (see last week's second half) would have seen off with aplomb. But with Union gifting them a couple of goals, coupled with missing a few chances of their own, tripled with them not being able to string more than 2 passes together, quadrupled with too much moaning in the ranks, quintupled by some admittedly admirably fair referreeing by Union's stand-ins, sextupled by the distraction of the imminent prospect of being left fully satisfied by a sophisticated Italian later that evening, it was just never going to happen.
Donnington were marginally the more polished performers: Lemmy to Street's Dumpy, seen here with his legendary goggles guitar:
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Mystic Smeg - Street Cheesed Off Again
Another year, another cup game for the Street. This tie against North Oxford Res was as ever a game of two halves, neither of which ended with Street on top. 3-0 at half-time, 4-0 at full (admittedly with a goal from the last kick, or indeed our goalie's despairing flick, of the match).
All this after the team had entered the battle with renewed hope and vitality. As a result of postponed matches, many of Street's more recent signings had the opportunity to visit, indeed to play on the hallowed sand of Union Street's ancestral home. Two 5-a-side training matches staved off the worst of the season's excess, but fans saw precious little to show for this mystical experience back at the Sandylanium.
As Odyssey would have it:
Lacin' up my boots
Goin back to my roots, yeh
But despite spiritual rebirth
It's back down to earth, uh-huh
For us die-hards, the odyssey continues...
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Ten-Nil to the North
Like the FTSE, Union Street's fortunes since the New Year have been, well, mixed. Today's performance against North Oxford was plucky enough, but after half an hour of stubborn resistance, the floodgates opened.
Street deserve full marks for effort. Their never-say-die attitude held strong despite the fact that their lifespan in this season's Couling Cup had long since ended.
Still lads, next week the league, with all keen to make amends. Take Nirvana's advice and 'Nevermind'.
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Morris Motors: A Tribute
It is something of a cliche these days to describe football as an Allegroy for life. If this be so, then Street's game against Morris Motors Res was living life to the Maximum, with the Minimum of ill-feeling between the teams, and only the most Minor of well-mannered infringements. No-one got too Rileyd up.
Perhaps it would be more accurate to describe this game as the equivalent of a costly Italian meal, one fit for a Princess, involving the lengthy Marinading of succulent morsels of Bullnose. You could watch 1000, 1100, even 1300 games without witnessing one more redolent of the best spirit and quality that is the amateur game iN u ffield in Cowley, Oxford.
Cardinal Wolseley himself would have admired the near-religious perfection of a game which ended honours even, 2-2, a fair result in a fair game, as other local boys Supergrass would have said, 'We're all right!'. talking of whom, here's crazy Gaz from the band in an earlier incarnation with Sweden's Kjell Brooz Orkester. Hang on, is that not also Street's very own radical left-winger Paul masquerading as Kjell himself? Or a near relative?
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Semi Tough
All fairy tales must come to an end sometime. And so it was that Union’s tremendous run in this year’s Doug Hobbs Trophy finally ran out of steam in the semi final against top team Bakels Crusaders at the Roman Way National Arena.
This historic game, Union’s first in which they have not been obliged to provide a linesman, was a gripping encounter. For the first half-hour Union may have seen less of the ball, but were certainly Bakels’ equal on chances. The breakthrough goal for Bakel’s did not deter the Street, quite accustomed as they are to going a goal behind. Sadly it was soon followed by a second.
2-0 at half time then, destined to be four shortly after the break. From then on, in true Street style, Street refused to lay down, gaining a consolation goal from the ever-reliable Chris Taylor. At the final whistle, the dream was over for this year. Street had battled to within touching distance of the cup, and that can only serve to gird their collective loins for next year’s Doug Hobbs challenge.
Thanks to all Street fans who made the long trek out to witness Street’s biggest game. With a crowd well in excess of thirty, the atmosphere was pulsating. A word of thanks also to the admittedly worthy winners on the day, who won with good grace and generous spirit. Fair play, lads, and to misquote the twe and only Weldon Irvine jr and Nina Simone, it must be nice to be 'Young, Gifted and Bakel’.
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North Earn Sole Delight
A game, as they say, not unlike that of two halves.
3-0 down at half-time, the Street got their game going in the second half, threatening to get back on terms with an early strike, not unlike a dawn walkout at the nearby Slade Fire Station.
Not unlike a vicar called away from watching Hamlet in the middle of the fifth Act to perform an ultimately unsuccessful exorcism, Street enjoyed most of the play, but were unable to turn possession into a miraculous result.
They ran out 4-1 losers - a result which was, not unlike the use of an abrasive such as Harpic on a Teflon pan, a bit harsh.
Still, Spring is in the air, traditionally a good time for the Street. Not unlike Phyllis Nelson sang, soon we will 'Move Closer' to the top of the league. |  |
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Street 5 East Oxford 1
0-1 at half-time
5-1 at full
5-1 to the Ewe Knee Un!
5-1 to the Ewe Knee Un!!
5-1 to the Ewe Knee Un!!!
5-1 to the Ewe Knee Un!!!!
5-1 to the Ewe Knee Un!!!!!
5-1 to the Ewe Knee Un!!!!!!
5-1 to the Ewe Knee Un!!!!!!!
5-1 to the Ewe Knee Un!!!!!!!!
4 for Kev, 1 for Scott
Here's a scene from the post-match celebratory disco, Kev and Scott celebrating. Well done, lads, well done. |  |
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Tetsworth Changing Strip Tease; Teas Worth the Trip
Street back in action after a two-week lay off, and firing on all cylinders as they roared into Tetsworth, parked their cars, and got changed. In the bar, as a result of upgrading work to the facilities. Street look forward with keen anticipation to the completion of the new changing rooms at Tetsworth, harbouring as they do happy memories of the old ones, with their legendary shower curtain.
The first half was an evocative affair, Tetsworth being one of the few authentic village teams of the RT Harris. Oozing Breugel-like atmosphere, the game proceeding to the accompaniment of the ancient cricket square roller and his ancient cricket square roller. Street chugged along too, and took the lead with a penalty, after having had strong appeals turned down for a more stonewall one earlier.
Tetsworth quickly struck back, but Street got right back at them and McHammer added his and their second with a pinpoint freekick, showboatingly deflected off the Tetsworth wall, entirely on purpose. Tetsworth’s response to this humiliation was to target McHammer for some agricultural tackling. Nature? Nurture? You decide.
2-1 at half-time then, and Street playing some slick, urbane stuff. The second half brought a speedy equaliser from a Tet offensive, and the game looked to be heading for a draw, when Tetsworth volleyed a class third followed by a knockout fourth. Needless to say, Street kept at it, but in the end the game was over.
Cheeringly, the charming Tet tradition of post-match tea and biscuits continues, even if, as Dylan would have it, the rooms they are a changin’
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Great Milton - Paradise Lost
Street never got going on a pitch that one can only imagine is in conversion to a skateboard park, complete with half-pipe at the far end. The craters and hummocks did nothing for the smooth passing game of the Street. Combined with Magoo-like referreeing, the omens were not in their favour. Like impotent grouse, they could not get on their game, and as the half drew to a close, they found themselves a goal to the bad.
Surely things would improve in the second, and so it seemed as an early penalty, like a non-believer at a Presbyterian mission, was unceremoniously converted by McHammer.
It proved however a false dawn, ‘Great’ Milton scoring two quick breakaways as Street pressed. Despite an onslaught of pressure for the last quarter, no quarter was asked or given, and Street returned to their quarters crestfallen. This team they should have beat.
Talk about fall from grace.
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Studley Wars
Dugout's Log,Supplementary. Street Date 12.4.03
Having returned to our base at Sandylanium, we found ourselves confronted by an alien life form, possibly originating in the Sticks Quadrant.
After a stand off of around half of your earth hours, we were forced to engage the aliens in full battle mode.
Despite an early setback when our defensive shield was malfunctioning, we quickly recovered. The use of the prototype 'Rich' android proved significant - further trials should show whether it will survive engagement for the full 90 minutes.
A point well made then, but should the Studlatians ever venture into this sector again,more decisive measures may be required to repel them.
A point proven in the Supplementary then, and it's surely time to misquote the unfathomable depths of Billy Ocean, and say 'Studerrly, life has new meaning to me...' |  |
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Fcuk shopping – Play football
Huge jams blocked the road from Oxford to Bicester this Saturday, as Street and their entourage made their way to the famous fortress of Ashdene Road. However, it transpired that most were not queuing to witness Street’s last league appearance of the season. They were in fact happy shoppers, headed for a village of outlets.
How much better off they would have been at the match, a far more suitable outlet (for the stresses and strains of the Easter weekend). They could have witnessed an entertaining game of football (deservedly won, one has to concede, by the all-conquering Crusaders, 5-0) followed by a drink in the plush surroundings of the Bakels bar. The Bakels’ football and hospitality have been one of the highlights of the Street’s season. We wish them well in the upper echelons of the RT Harris.
So much more edifying than a tepid afternoon trawling the designer racks and shelves for conveyor-belt style and empty consumerist gestures with all the other Bicester Village People. And say what you like about their manly chart-topping namesakes, at least their style was all their own.
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The Cup Game of the Week
 This was the match both sets of fans and all the neutrals wanted to see: the clash of the titans, two tribes going to war, the game of the century. The talk of pubs and clubs throughout the land for weeks beforehand, even rumours of interest from Six TV.
Street vs Tetsworth in the Supplementary.
The kick off was delayed by the late appearance of the young ref: finishing his homework, or overcome by the enormity of the occasion, or both, but the game itself was worth the wait. In gold. With chances at both ends, half-time arrived with the score still at 0-0. Then soon after the resumption, for the second match running against Tetsworth, McHammer fired a howitzer of a shot into the Tetsworth goal to put Union in front. Tetsworth fought back strongly, ultimately scoring from a set-piece.
The game then ebbed and flowed like a great ocean of top quality football, with Street like the Argonauts of the Sandylanium, bravely riding the waves of tackles and harbouring hopes of a legendary win. Testworth consigned Street to the lobster pot of disappointment though, as they managed to scramble a late winner on the break. A triumphant return to port for them, then, while Union were left sitting on the dock of the bay.
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Street in Teambuiilding Exercise
Esst Oxford scraped a 1-1 draw in the Sandylanium cauldron as Street saw all hope of progress in the Supplementary Cup recede into oblivion.
It was in this same state that the Man in the Dugout found himself later that evening, after another legendary Street end-of-season soiree. At least one Street star came close to arrest, while another went missing in action, reportedly later seen asleep in a front garden in Cowley.
Further details of the evening and preceding match are sketchy at best, although one incident worthy of record was the elevation of Mr Martin Scarfe to the status of Player of the Year. Hats off and well-deserved congratulations to him, Judging by his exploits later that evening, he would also be a candidate for the title so famously rendered by Fred Wedlock - 'The Oldest Swinger in Town'. |  |
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Sad Old Boys' Farewell
Street's controversial Italian striker bowed out today with a breathtaking performance against the Donny Oldsters. A goal was the least he deserved for this his last game for the Street before returning to Milan, but the Boys weren't playing ball, and despite almost constant pressure, their goal remained unpenetrated.
A mildly disappointing end to the Street's greatest ever season, then, with a ten-minute collective defensive collapse mid-second half leading to three Old Boy goals after Street had looked to be in control of the game. A last minute fourth sealed their fate.
But Street, do not be downhearted! An experimental new system is to be tested over the summer - a variant of 70's Dutch 'total football'. With this revolutionary approach, Street will be unbeatable. Plans are still in the planning stage, but on paper the plan looks something like this: |  |
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