Man in the Dugout reports 2000-01
New kit launched
Fixtures 2000 - 01
Your prayers please
Your Prayers Answered
Club Badge
Awards - Yes, we did win one!
2001 - 2002 - A Street Odyssey Continues
Fixtures 2001-02
Could this Be The Year? Reports 2002-03
2002-03 Fixtures and Results
Support Our Sponsors
2003-04: European Union
2003-04: Results, Fixtures
Roma Therapy
The Greatest Football Tournament in the World
2004-2005: Attack of the Minty Badgers
Street's New Training Regime
Meet the team!
Union Street's festive picture gallery!
The Union Street Awards 2004/05!
der Mann in heraus gegraben DAM diary 2005
2005-06: When badgers learn to fly
Street Talk
Knee-Jerk Reaction: Ben's Countdown to Germany 2006
Bolz WM Gonzo Diary
Pre-Seasonal Tension
2006-07: MInty Badgers Save the World
Plumbing new depths
Direkt Von Dem Dugout - Koln 2007
Union Street Awards: Season 2006 - 2007
2007-08: For a Few Seasons More
Message Board
Guestbook
Event Calendar
Mail Form
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The Unofficial Bolz WM Gonzo Diary
| The MITD Comes To The Party. Introducing our Germany-Street heroes... |  |
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Rich Adams
 | | Missed out on the frog chorus, but got into the swing of things with great captaincy and sexy play. Puckered his lips a lot. Didn’t fart as much. Got a massage, danced on a table. For 6 hours. Legend. 10 out of 10. |
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Craig Bartlett
 | | Revealed all when he told us he’d seen dolphins and a sea monster (ask Ginsburg). Also put on a notably professorial urinal lecture. Played for the Columbians but got subbed for being rubbish. Drank like a monster. Puked through his nose. |
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Ben Beaumont
 | | Sicknote / Press secretary / manager / guitarist nob-head accompanied the Street throughout the tournament. Inspired pitch diagram may have helped to defeat the Argies, or perhaps not. Had a right bead on. |
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Keith Birnie
 | | Our Banjo-wielding, free-pissing, Chairman speech-bag scored three in a day to send his ego soaring. Gets irritable when asked to play in defence. Likes enormous shopping plazas called Bauhaus. Bizarrely-wired Watneys pub sign fused Boris’ electrics amusingly. |
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James Burn
 | | Manic, can’t sit-still mong-head drank two pints all weekend. Got given his first baby clothes, followed by his first baby-crying annoyance test. Clear winner in the Matt Fry annoying-competition. Amusing Saturday night bench-sleeping, followed by a return to true Burner-form on Sunday morning. |
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Chris Clarke
 | | Brains was faster than a speeding badger. Must be something to do with those aviator shades. Packed the white van to perfection. Ran down the wing approximately 3,783 times in three days. Exquisite Argie-beating goal. Drove the white van to perfection. |
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Andy Davies
 | | The MITD’s unofficial man of the tournament. Showed Smithy how to take penalties, marshalled the midfield, ran around a lot, got sweaty. Hilarious game in goal for another team - even their players had a go at him. Danny, your position is safe. |
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Matt Fry
 | | Great mash ups. Great dancing. Great campsite-sorting. Great annoying-competition inventor. Great drinking. Great hangovers. Great German accent. Great Argentine shirt-wearing. Great playing-for-everyone-who-asked. Great man. |
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Mark Ginsburg
 | | Our very own Graham Poll. Buggered-ankle meant he had to referee for just about everybody, and gave some fittingly eccentric decisions against the Street. Got his customary detour in on the journey home, after frightening the life out of his passengers on the autobahn. Fair play. |
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Andy Holt
 | | The Street newcomer went down like a pickled egg and pork scranching combo – ie, exceedingly well. Awesome on the pitch, smoked and drank and danced like Street’s very own Shaun Ryder off it. Good work, Manc-lad. |
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Ben Morrison
 | | Another newboy immediately at home on the Street campsite. The badgers were indebted to his never-say-no-to-a-group-of-hungry-Englishmen attitude when looking for a restaurant in Bray Dunes. Also very patient during the marker-pen-Bauhaus-marathon. Nice hat, nice breakdancing, nice boy. |
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Stuart Mozley
 | | “Oooh booogger”. Like Burner, Beer-monitor Stu kept his blankets moist, and looked after the “ol Hooky” with near-German authority. As ever was the rock on which our defence depended. Nice bugling, and awesome right-arm medium too. |
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Neil Murphy
 | | Aw, don’t we just love our magnificent baby-photo boy? Played football like he was 20 rather than 40, drank like the Street hero he is. As ever, it was all too brief – let’s visit the lad in Rome soon, like. |
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Gem de Silva
 | | Our pub back-drop devising, weed-smoking, wallet-keeping, pogo-dancing, caipirinha-drinking goalkeeper hero. Flapped at a couple, but saved us against the Italians, and countless other times. Him and Ben took a while over that pub sign, though. |
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Adam Smith
 | | Our Aunt Sally champion scored three awesome goals on the first day and looked set for the golden boot til he got 'done' by Boris. Missed hilarious penalty, befriended Tariq, sang with Tor Man – an all-round great Germany debut for the Street hero. |
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People we love
 | Boris, Steffen and The Dude (but of course), Steffan, Tariq, that chubby bearded currywurst man, the Cocktail Twins, Teejay the architecture hero, that smiling Argentinian lad, Giuseppe, Bianca, Eric Cantona, all those lovely Sohne Der Mutter girls, the Tor-man, the Columbian rapper-dudes and oh-so-many more…
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Overheard
 | Everyone: "I've got a right bead on."
James Burn: "Just you lot wait 'til Craig gets here, he'll sort you out. He wouldn't let this sort of shit come out of my mouth."
Steffen: "Remember: they are criminals."
Matt to Ginsburg on way home, as he pulls up close behind a Citroen at 100mph: "It says keep two chevrons distance Mark, but they're supposed to be on the road".
Andy, during same journey: "Matt, could you pass the newspaper off the shelf from the car JUST in front?"
German at pub: "It's really funny, my grandad went out for a cigarette and all his friends were blown up! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
Eric Cantona-a-like: "Don't mention the war! He he he he he he."
One of our esteemed neighbours: "Why do you have a total disregard for everyone else in the campsite?"
Boris: "You should see North Pole 48. Literally litres of sperm."
"Fair Play on the autobahn!"
"Riven with trails" |
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Food hero of the weekend
 | | Tariq. A firm supporter of the slow-food movement, our boys learnt a thing or two about the Bolz philosophy to life in his queues. Wonderful free sausages on Saturday night. Took a particular shine to Smiffy, too. |
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Weirdo of the weekend
That gay photo man took a shine to Burner, eh? |
Night out of the weekend
 | | Those that made it to the Mutter bar had a special time, helped in no small part by obscure punk music, manic pogo-ing and fiendish cocktail offers: 5 spirits for £3.50 anyone? An incredibly inebriated James Burn still takes credit for getting people there and back, somehow. |
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Magic mushroom-inspired moments of the weekend
 | The Dude struggling with the concept of paying for beer at the Oxford Pub.
Eric Cantona-a-like struggling with the concept of speech at same.
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Songs of the weekend
 | Tor Tor Toor, la la la la laaaaa: Wednesday evening Street version (no, we don’t need to know the proper lyrics).
Agadoo-Scarborough Fair: Fry v. Beaumont oral mashup
Golden Slumbers: Friday night Street singalong version, for the 32nd time
Tor Tor Tor / Wonderwall: three hour big tent Saturday night mash-up
Any songs that kept our neighbours from NW Spain awake on Saturday night
The Street Banjo-Guitar Blues: just-got-there-on-Monday-afternoon-watching-5-a-side sunshine mix
Tor Tor Tor: Street and Tor Man private rendition
O Sole Mio: Friday Anglo-Italian friendship mix
Hey Jude: early Thursday morning, daylight’s here and we’ve just been told to be quiet sing-a-long
Que Sera Sera: any late-night Steffen and Keith version |
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Fart-bag of the weekend
 | | Keith Birnie, who at one point farted pure egg mayonnaise. |
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Boobs of the weekend
 | The many pairs of 60-year-old boobs (not to mention big bushes) on show up at the lake, cancelled out by 60-year-old nobs, however.
Voluptuous Algerian girl table-dancing on the first night.
The additional bonus boob stop at the seaside on the way home, at Mark's request.
Tor Tor Toor girl (see above). |
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The football
 | Street’s week started gloriously with the sweltering Monday afternoon kickabout – coming back from 4-1 down against a team whose striker ingeniously celebrated a goal before kicking the ball. Dare you to do that in the RT Harris, my lad.
Smiffy had a blinder of a first day, with goals straight out of another place and time (or even team). After a messy defeat to those Black Pumps, we drew with the eventual winners, and were part of the game of the tournament against those lovely Dynamo cats.
On the second day, our Chairman took over where Smiffy left off against our old friends Sohne der Mutter (who had all been up at 6 am that morning). We enjoyed a tough but fair game against our Italian chums, including Giuseppe, and a game to forget against those flame-kit numpties.
On that drawn out third day we conquered Italy, thanks to some penalty heroics from Davies, Adams and de Silva, and celebrated a famous victory over Argentina, thanks to a barn-stormer from Chris Clarke. We even found the legs to run around after those annoying green-shirted oiks at the end of it all.
All in all, tenth place and our best Germany-outing ever. Is it a coincidence that England are also 10th in the FIFA rankings? We played some gorgeous football, some great pass-and-move, and kept running to the last. Except perhaps Craig. Well played, you handsome super dudes.
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Pub of the weekend
 | | Why wouldn't it be? |
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