Union Street Awards: Season 2006 - 2007

This season may not be remembered for a number of reasons, some of which may include German lager and excessive Guinness at the Swan. But one thing is 'for sure' (as they say in Germany): it would be nice to be able to remember something. And to this honourable end, your Man In the Dugout has awarded the following badgers for perserverance in the face of inanity, disorganisation and, most of all, football. So here goes:

Country badgers:
Best Day Out: Brill on the Hill. Great brieze block clubhouse, great chips. Love those windmills

Best shower singing: Yr Chairman et al at Wheatley all that time ago

Hairy badgers:
L’oreal hairstyling award: Toss up between Clayson and 'the hairdryer' Adams. Because they’re worth it.
Acknowledgements to Mackintosh's curly thatch and yr chairman's impressive efforts.

The Alex Cobham lovely beard award - Peter Pan de Silva (hon mention to the Beauster).

Badgers’ badgers:
Player's player:
Rich Adams
Closely followed by Simon Crowther, Andy Davies - goal hero, Matty burn, and Wee Dan Badger

New player: Matty Burn
Closely followed by the Mackintoshinator

Also-ran badgers:
Most improved player: Matt Fry.

Persistant badgering: Dan Badger

Defensive play: Dave for marking the ref

Utility badger: Lee Clayson

Goalscorer of the Season: Wee Dan Badger

Mad as badgers:
The 'My Beautiful Laundrette' award for gay washing: Rich Sale

The Dr Mozley Cup for being a Doctor: Fintan Sheerin

The TV.noif Award: Jan Holloway (Eh? MITD)

The Hunter S Thompson award for erratic journalism: Craig Bartlett

Least present player: The Plumber

Most convincing Elvis impersonator at wedding: nominations please

"Man-who-takes-his-work-onto-the-pitch-and-educates-the-ref" Award:
Uncle Burner

Hero badgers:
Stoicism in the face of lunacy award:

Jan Holloway for dealing with the RT Harris and keeping those nice Shelley boys in the league.

Bruce Willis Die Hard Award to multiple-injury strewn:
Crispin Angood. That boy just does not know when to lie down

Stout but creaking defence Award:
Mozley and Birnie

Most necessary but ultimately futile lesson:
Matty Burn trying to explain to Golden Ball Reserves why he didn't dive to win a penalty

Special James Burn Well-meaning but hopelessly inaccurate St Johns Ambulance award:
I'd like to put forward Adam I think it was (actually perhaps it was Steve) for a St Johns Ambulance award for stopping to help my brother sort out his cramp during a surging drive forward from Tetsworth (I think it was) leaving a slight hole in the defence which led to my favourite comedy goal this season.
(Note from MITD: Actually James it was Simon just before he completely disappeared off the radar and it was Tetsworth)

Public House of the season:
The Swan. We can't say it often enough, you know

Spectator of the season
Yr sec's bare kid. Or Gordon

Gamey badgers:
The Crispin Angood award for charidee:
Union Street for generosity against 9-man Brill.

Game of the season:
2-1 win against Ampleforth. Where did it go wrong?
Definitely not the 1-1 draw against Brill

Tactical change of heart:
Rich Adams goes longball against Great Milton

Achy-Breaky badgers:
The Martin Scarfe Certificate of Knee:
Benjamin Beaumont

Player most like Martin Scarfe:
The Scarfinator (he is in fact made entirely of bits of old metal shaped to look like Martin Scarfe)

Best long-term injury:
The Beauster

Is he still playing award:
Martin Scarfe

Best self-injury in the cause of duty:
Fry v NOX

Sorely missed:
Ben Beaumont: sort that knee out!

The Ben Beaumont 'I'm injured but I don't like to blog about it' award for most discussed injury:

Danny K for his groin (or was it knee, finger, etc.)

Cakey-Bakey badgers
Fan / caterer of the year:
Mrs Claysonator

The Nell Gwynne Shield:
Mrs Clayson

GOAL badgers:
Goal of the season:
Andy Davies does Pele in '70 against hapless Tetsworth keeper:
http://tinyurl.com/2u4phe. Except Andy scored where Pele missed.
Rich Adams hopeful lofted shot beats hapless Tetsworth keeper

No-goal badgers:
Hottest defensive line-up: Fry, Burn, Birnie, Burn

Save of the season: Danny against everyone.

Own-goal badgers:
Most suddenly rumbled throw-in: Alex Cobham

Most-whinging-demotivating-uninspiring-team-talks-at-half-time Award:
Rich Adams

Manly badgers:
The Boris Mijatovic Award for Fleisch-manship:

Jointly to Burner, Cobham, and maybe Kavanagh

Most repressed homoeroticism:
The Gym Boys

'Ray Bradbury Award for most Illustrated Man':
Steven Ackerley. Honourable mentions to Macka, Danny and Sale


RT Badgers:
Most amateur league moment of the season:
Cobham's succession of foul throws (v Brill?)

Still the Most Annoying Team:
Fairview for their corrupt, idiotic management team, and because we never beat them

Most coaching badges of the season: North Oxford's skipper. Sorry, manager
Most enjoyable goal given to Street: North Oxford's skipper. Sorry, manager
Best response at full-time to "well done, skip": "Actually, I'm the manager"

The Fort Knox Award for Impenetrable Changing Rooms:
Oxford City Council

Most Principled Secretary:
Herr Holloway
Least Principled Secretary:
That Fairview Halfwit