"OOOOoops!"

‘OOOOoops….Silly Me!’

Joan Tolley was a very efficient Cashier at the ‘Heanor ‘Empire’ cinema, but she was prone to getting her words mixed up in the style of the beloved comedienne Hylda Baker, leading to much amusement amongst the staff.

For instance, instead of 'corrugated iron', she'd say 'congregated iron', or 'evacuated milk' instead of 'evaporated milk'. One particularly embarrassing slip occurred in front of one of the cinema's more well-to-do patrons, who came to special presentations; they had been cinemagoers for years. Their names were Sam and Nancy Winfield, and on one visit, Sam asked me to tell him more about a forthcoming film called "The Deep". At this, the ever-talkative Joan jumped in saying, "Oh, I don't like those kind of films.Can you imagine how horrible it must be all those hundreds of feet down in the dark water, then to have an octopus shoot out, and wrap it's testicles around you?" I recall looking at Sam, he looked at his wife, and we all looked at the Joan. They became regulars and you know what? They were not so 'posh' on their next visit!

“The Flickering Past

I loved dear Spencer Tracy, Tyrone and Errol Flynn,
Tom Brown and Richard Cromwell, Andy Hardy's grin.
They set my heart thumping, emotions in a whirl.
but that was all so long ago ,when I was but a girl.

How I longed to be like Colbert, or maybe Betty Grable,
To be kissed and pressed against the chest, of handsome Mr. Gable.
On one or two occasions, each and every week,
For the price of sixpence, romantic thrills I'd seek.

Lugosi, Lorre, Boris, they scared me half to death!
While the daring feats of Fairbanks, fairly took my breath.
The voices of Nelson Eddy, and John Boles made me swoon,
And so did Tony Martin, and Bing, The King of Croon.

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Beery, Mari Dressler and, Jolson's Singing Fool,
Charming Valentino and, Will Hayes crazy school,
Our Gang and Shirley Temple, how she could sing and dance,
With Rin -Tin -Tin the wonder dog, the villain had no chance.

The programme was quite lengthy, with picture A and B,
Pathe News or Movietone, The March of Time to see.
We didn't have an interval, for organs were the rage,
And sometimes for an extra treat, we saw an act on stage.

Now the picture palaces, are rarely to be seen,
Old or dead those idols, of the silver screen.
Should you feel nostalgic, for this era of the past,
Then, my friend, just like me, the sand is running fast.

“We All Stood to Attention”

Two seats in the back row,
For only one and six,
And for tuppence on a Saturday,
Tom Maynard and Tom Mix.

It’s true we were a rowdy lot,
We’d shout and stamp and sing,
But we all stood to attention,
When they played ‘God Save the King!’


‘Digging Up the Dirt’:

My escapades at the cinema continued to go un-noticed, although my secret affair with a lady named Michelle remained undetected; only Harold Brown knew of what went on aftertime, behind locked doors.

The partnership were pleased that I was continuing to save them money by doing jobs about the house, which they normally would have had to pay for, and it also meant that I had a chance to help local businesses close by.

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Frank Dainty sanctioned a couple of accounts, one so I could buy paint from across the road, the other at the local hardware shop in the square, even though I explained my niece worked there.

After a couple of months, a problem occurred at the paint shop, when I discovered some mistakes in our monthly account. The assistant, who worked in there, was neglecting to enter certain things on our receipts. I went in one day, and purchased £35 in paint, £6.00 for brushes, and some bottles of turpentine, which brought the bill to a little over £40.00. At the end of the month the receipt came for payment and I noted the paint had been omitted, so I hurried across to point this out.

The assistant told me the bill was correct, she couldn’t check, because she had no record of the transaction. This happened several times, and at one point, I recall taking my mother down to the shop to purchase wallpaper, and several weeks later she mentioned she had got six rolls of wallpaper for just £3. It was obvious that something was going on, so I mentioned to Joan Tolley, what I suspected. I was then told it was old news that going to that shop was always a ‘bonus’, because nobody ever paid the advertised price!

The owner came to see me one evening, and I asked how business was, to which he replied that he was having a rough time, and frankly I wasn’t at all surprised! My conscience which had been uneasy for some time, told me I must do something about it, so I stopped getting further supplies of paint for three months, and got further supplies from the hardware shop.

This in turn created another problem, because Frank Dainty, ever watchful on my spending, asked the $64,000 question on the telephone on night, why was I getting paint from the hardware shop? I could tell Frank anything in confidence, (especially if it was to ‘Cinemex’s advantage), so I explained why, and he replied he didn’t want to know more, in case anything should happen. I found myself in an awful predicament, as she was an older women who, if she was sacked, would find it difficult to get another job, but it was certain that the business would fold up if things carried on as they were. She didn’t need to do this because her husband had a good job at Rolls Royce in Derby, so it was obvious that personal gain was not in her mind when she was doing this act, which could only result in the future. It was one of those times in life when you just do not know what to do for the best.

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I hardly slept that night, realising that I must do something about it, I was as guilty as she was I suppose, and I should not have accepted the ‘gifts’. Next day the assistant was on her day off, so I went across the road, and caught the owner and his wife in the shop, and told the whole story.

They didn’t believe me, and I still don’t think they do to this day, so my only proof was to call Joan across to give them evidence of my claim, which she did. They were not happy, they trusted the woman totally, and I suspect thought there was a reason why I had told them this. There was – I just wanted my goods at the normal shop price. I later discovered that everyone else I knew who used the same shop had experienced similar occurrences.

However, the assistant’s working days at the shop got less and less, till eventually she was no longer there. A quick calculation at that time brought us to the conclusion that she must have cost the business some hundred’s of pounds.

I thought to myself that if Frank Dainty had been doing the books, he would have noticed something was wrong. I still see the owner and his wife today, they didn’t deserve to be treated that way, but telling my all gave me a clear conscience that I could meet then face to face, and not feel guilty.

In the environment of the cinema there were also times when usherettes had caused similar problems, but on a much smaller scale. It was common for the to add an extra penny on ice creams; the excuses they used were that it kept the float up if they had give wrong change, and a whole load of other reasons. However it was only necessary to give a warning, and give another chance; nobody should be pushed out of a job for such a trivial offence! The honesty of the staff was always an important part of running a successful business, and I was so lucky in that almost everyone who has ever worked for me could be relied on a hundred percent.


‘Honesty is the best policy’

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