sir audley arms football club
Player Profiles
Hat-Trick Club
Message Board
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All The Lucky Audley legends to get the Magic 3!
 | Whether you are a player or a reject who has scored a hat- trick Please feel free to leave your e-mail on the msg board and we will send you a form to fill out and you can have your magic moment published in your own words.
ABOUT THE ONLY CLUB NOLAN CAN'T GET INTO!!!
CURRENT MEMBERS - SMITH, MALLY, ARTHURS, MCLAUGHLIN, O'KEEFFE, MANNLEY, NOLAN. |
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Mallard - HATTRICK MEMBER
How old are you? 29
How long have you been playing for the Knights? 11 years since the club was formed
When do you plan to retire from the game? as long as my legs can keep going i'm not sure yet!
What is your biggest memory since you have been here? scoring a hatrick in 5-4 win vs biddestone social club also my hatrick goal vs cooper avon which kept us up and sent them down!
What has been your proudest moment at the club? watching the youngsters come through
Who has been your biggest inspiration at the club? definately twitty the guys an audley legend!
When did you get your first Audley Hat-trick? 3rd season vs north star in a 6-3 win 1st goal after about 20 seconds
How many Hat-tricks have you scored? i would say about 7 but i'm not sure
In one word, how did it feel? it's always nice to score but a hatrick is unbelievable
What emotions went through your head? i didn't know what to do to be honest!
Do you dream about the first hat-trick you scored? not any more as i've scored more important ones since
Was it better than Sex? depends what the outcome of the game is to compare it to that!
Have you scored the perfect hat-trick for the Audley? not that i can remember as i don't often head the ball!!
How did you celebrate your hat-trick? never been a big celebrater so probably just waited to get jumped on!
Finally, who do you believe will be next in line to join the
prestigious hat-trick club? i reckon dave nolan will get one
soon!
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Arthurs - CLUB MEMBER
How old are you? 19 (and a half)
How long have you been playing for the Knights? 1st Season
When do you plan to retire from the game? If I play as long as Niall Quinn did, I’ll retire a happy man!
What is your biggest memory since you have been here? Has to be the look of sheer embarrassment on nolans face as I tucked away my third against Somerford. Magic!
What has been your proudest moment at the club? Joining the Audley elite as part of the hat-trick club
Who has been your biggest inspiration at the club? Mally, I don’t know how he still plays at the age of 40! Audleys own Teddy Sheringham
When did you get your first Audley Hat-trick? Sunday 07/01/2007 11:53 am
How many Hat-tricks have you scored? 1
In one word, how did it feel? SPECIAL
What emotions went through your head? It was a mixture of adrenaline and pure
ecstasy. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry…... At Nolan
Do you dream about the first hat-trick you scored? Every night
Was it better than Sex? To close to call
Have you scored the perfect hat-trick for the Audley? Not yet
How did you celebrate your hat-trick? The way anyone should! With a pile on!!! Also ran over to the stand in gaffer luke “big time Swindon supermarine” Gullick, who showed faith in me during the game.
Finally, who do you believe will be next in line to join the prestigious hat-trick club? I’ve seen James Meathon on the training field, and if he gets a run in the team playing in his preferred Right wing position he’s certain to get into the club. Someone who saw him playing recently said “Is related to Joe Cole??”……… Need I say anymore
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Manley- All Man
How old are you? 23
How long have you been playing for the Knights?
2 years.
When do you plan to retire from the game?
As soon as we win the Premier Division
What is your biggest memory since you have been here?
Mally's Toes
What has been your proudest moment at the club?
Getting booked.... I'd never been booked before I joined this club.
Who has been your biggest inspiration at the club?
Sam Legg-Bagg. He has shown me that however shite your first touch is, if you are fit enough you can still look half decent on a Sunday Morning. May he inspire us all to shed a few pounds!
When did you get your first Audley Hat-trick?
Last season in an 11-0 slaughtering of Sommerford. It was hard not to.
How many Hat-tricks have you scored?
For the Audley, just one more than Nolan.
In one word, how did it feel?
Overshadowed.....by Gullick banging in 4
What emotions went through your head?
I wish I was as good as Gullick
Do you dream about the first hat-trick you scored?
No just Gullick
Was it better than Sex?
With Gullick? No way!
Have you scored the perfect hat-trick for the Audley?
Nope, never scored a header for the Arms.
How did you celebrate your hat-trick?
I should have taken my shirt off to expose my chest rug, a la Ryan Giggs, but settled for a few high fives
instead.
Finally, who do you believe will be next in line to join the prestigious hat-trick club?
Dave Nolan, you can't keep a good man down for long.
Also you may want to mention my strike rate. 6 in 7 games since I returned from touring the brothels of Europe, where incidentally I failed to score whatsoever.
And if you're wondering why Sam LB has got so many votes on future Hat-trick club poll, he got broadband installed last week, need I say more........
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O'Keeffe - Member
O'Keeffe- CLUB MEMBER
How old are you? 24 (and a half)
How long have you been playing for the Knights? (7 Seasons) Minus One, which i was suspended for!
When do you plan to retire from the game? 37 (20 seasons at the Audley)
What is your biggest memory since you have been here? So many at Lackham, Maybe beating Biddestone or our encounters with 'Southwick Sports'. They were fun. Can't remember a time we finished with eleven men..
What has been your proudest moment at the club?
Putting The Blue shirt on for the first time.
Who has been your biggest inspiration at the club?
Yido! He's just a legend. Never Injured and as fit as a fiddle.
When did you get your first Audley Hat-trick? North Star B (First Half Hat-trick) Subbed and Had a shower by the end of half time.
How many Hat-tricks have you scored? 1
In one word, how did it feel? Brilliant
What emotions went through your head? I was overwhelmed in emotion. I was a proud man.
Do you dream about the first hat-trick you scored?
Often
Was it better than Sex? Depends on where i'm putting the filthy little thing.
Have you scored the perfect hat-trick for the Audley? Yes - 1st was a header of a N.gapper Corner. 2nd Right footer from edge of box and 3rd was a left foot tap in.
How did you celebrate your hat-trick? Just run away from everyone.
Finally, who do you believe will be next in line to join the prestigious hat-trick club? Big outsider of Gapper. He hasn't scored yet this season, and he is feeling the pressure of the emerging talents coming through the ranks. I fancy him to smash some home.
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James MC - Member
 | How old are you? 23 but i plan to make it 24 in march depending on the weather
How long have you been playing for the Knights? 4 years
When do you plan to retire from the game? i retred through injury about a year ago
What is your biggest memory since you have been here? probably mally scoring the winner in the last minute against corsham park rangers 2 seasons in a row. that was funny, they pretty much hate him i think :-)
What has been your proudest moment at the club? asking for steve shipways socks so fireman sam could play, he wasn't signed on at the time... then steve stormed off because of it. i dont think he came back...?
Who has been your biggest inspiration at the club? i would have to say anyone involved in the 22 man brawl we had against that team out by westbury
When did you get your first Audley Hat-trick? againts north star b, should have scored at least 5. i hit the bar from less than 2 yards (",)
How many Hat-tricks have you scored? just the one
In one word, how did it feel? refreshing
What emotions went through your head? um, god i'm good, better not over celebrate unless i pull a muscle, this team are shit...
Do you dream about the first hat-trick you scored? when it gets dark
Was it better than Sex? better than sex with some of my previous conquests for sure:)
Have you scored the perfect hat-trick for the Audley? i thought it was pretty perfect, but not the traditional perfect one
How did you celebrate your hat-trick? either a rolly polly or a team hug, i think it put us 13-0 up so most people were bored celebrating by then
Finally, who do you believe will be next in line to join the prestigious hat-trick club? i don't think anyone else will make it in, but if i had to say someone i wreckon it'll be... Nolan (not dave)
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Luke Gullick - G Force
GULLICK- CLUB MEMBER
How old are you?
20 (and a half)
How long have you been playing for the Knights?
3rd Season
When do you plan to retire from the game? When I get bored and cant b assed and have earnt a far amount of cash. .
What is your biggest memory since you have been here?
Probably putting on the shirt for the 1st time and scoring 2 goals! Also scoring 7 goals in a game, a big record of mine
What has been your proudest moment at the club? when we beat the wheatsheaf 2-1 but also just because I got to play along side my strike partner thunder thighs Nolan and also play with Roberto carlos
Who has been your biggest inspiration at the club? have to say gaffer mally gives me inspiration when he used to show me his feet. It goes through my mind when I play, I jus never want toes like that ever…
When did you get your first Audley Hat-trick?
Ummm I don’t know but im sure if you ask stat man moorsey or twitty they could let you know, its hard to keep up when you score so many!!!
How many Hat-tricks have you scored?
Ummm at least over 14
In one word, how did it feel?
Incredible BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD NOLAN
What emotions went through your head?
Wow I scored 3 IV done really well!! Try get some more and be greedy
Do you dream about the first hat-trick you scored? Ummm not really cuz IV come along way since my 1st hat trick… Iv scored many more since then
Was it better than Sex?
To close to call
Have you scored the perfect hat-trick for the Audley? yes
How did you celebrate your hat-trick?
Well depends which one.. when I scored 7 I couldn’t believe it and just thanked mally for not being a gay and taking me off. Only because he got fed up with me scoring so many and wanted me to share some goals but I remember doing a Dwight yorke celebration little kick and punch in the air..
Finally, who do you believe will be next in line to join the prestigious hat-trick club?
Im going to have to say it because he will one day DAVID NOLAN he does his best in the games and one day he will get a lucky break
LUKE GULLICK
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David took his time Nolan
Nolan joins the prestigious hat-trick club
How old are you? 19
How long have you been playing for the Knights? 3 seasons
When do you plan to retire from the game? As long as my body lets me play,at this rate 2more seasons
What is your biggest memory since you have been here? The mass brawl and a few great goals
What has been your proudest moment at the club? Theres so many,my 92min winner against summerford,and bruv (big black bloke) was gutted after weeks of arguing who was the better team.And some amazing last min goals.
Who has been your biggest inspiration at the club? Mally the guy had faith in me,and Moorsey just a legend!
When did you get your first Audley Hat-trick? This season against blue circle,and 2 assists to win 5.2,good day at the office.
How many Hat-tricks have you scored? Just the one,always get stuck on 2 goals and cant get the third.
In one word, how did it feel? wet.
What emotions went through your head? loads,releaved,excited.
Do you dream about the first hat-trick you scored? I do now
Was it better than Sex? On par
Have you scored the perfect hat-trick for the Audley? no not yet,mines was two right feet and a header,maybe next time.
How did you celebrate your hat-trick? Ripped my shirt off,then had a pile on,then got booked for taking my shirt off.
Finally, who do you believe will be next in line to join the
prestigious hat-trick club?Ozzy with me and him up front we will both get plenty more Hatricks.
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