These are a selection of jokes that I have taken from http://www.humorsphere.com/football/I have to warn some people from reading these as they may offend you, so sorry if they do-I didnt make them up!
You're trapped in a room with a Grizzly Bear, a deadly Rattlesnake, and an Man Utd Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the Man United Fan. Twice.
The 7 dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the dark distance a voice screams out "Rangers are good enough to win the European Cup."
Snow White says "Thank God - at least Dopey's still alive!"
Q: What do you call a dead Tottenham Supporter in a closet?
A: Last years winner to the hide and seek contest.
Q: Why do Wimbledon fans carry lighters round with them?
A: Because they lose all their matches!
Q: What have Blackburn FC and a three pin plug got in common?
A: Their both absolutely useless in Europe.
A wee fella hands over a £50 note to the turnstyle operator at St James Prk
Fella: Two please.
Turnstyle Operator: Will that be defenders or strikers, sir?
Q: What do Aston Villa fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: If you see a Liverpool Fan on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him?
It might be your bike...
Q: What would you do if you saw a Millwall fan walking towards you with a wound?
A: Stop laughing, reload and shoot again!