Tyke Petroleum Men's League - Men's First Team

Bish Men's Firsts - Ripped up to here... but NO FURTHER LtoR: Andy, Alistair, Greg, Sam (Cap'n), Riccardo (the FIFTH, and least famous Mutant Ninja Turtle) and Jah-mez

For more substantial League Results and Tables, click on the link below:

Match Report

June 28th vs RUFFORTH Away

Bishopthorpe Crash Land at High Flying Rufforth

After the euphoria of last week's win the Bishopthorpe engine's stalled at Rufforth Airfield. In the end it was a comprehensive win for the home team who outgunned the visitors in all but one of the rubbers.

Wing Commander Watson and Squadron Leader Parker had to eject after the 2nd rubber but made a Bader-esque recovery in the 3rd and made it home bloodied but one game to the good.

Greg 'Goose' Preston and Andy 'Maverick' Stockham fired off their sidewinders but Rufforth deployed enough chaff to hold firm.

A plucky effort by newly enlisted Flight Lieutenants Lewis and Sharpe, but they couldn't quite withstand the dambusters that promotion chasing Rufforth had at their disposal.

Final score 69-39

After some exhilarating dogfights Bish's airmen had to glide home with one engine spluttering and need to regroup for the ground assault on Sherburn next week, which will see the return of Major Scott-Somers, Colonel Crabtree and Field Marshall Cragg.

Charge......!!!!!


June 21st vs SHERIFF HUTTON Home

Bish Men's Doubles Duck Broken!

What a great day to play tennis.

In contrast to the downpour that moistened the Bishopthorpe Gala (and the ladies matches) yesterday, M1 had the kind of conditions that tennis is supposed to be played in. Glorious sunshine and just a hint of a breeze - no need for a retractable roof here. The courts looked marvellous, bathed in golden sunlight and all was in place for a rematch of the tense draw at Sheriff Hutton just a few weeks ago.

The match was much less dramatic this time around, with far fewer nails bitten. The visitors, ravaged by injuries and absences, could unfortunately only muster 4 players. The pairs who made the journey played with youthful enthusiasm and in good spirit despite their numerical disadvantage.

When deciding on who would sit out the first rubber, the previous night's excesses played a deciding factor. Alistair elected for a while extra on the sidelines to "warm up" and "talk tactics". We watched on as Preston and Watson outfoxed their opponents 10-2 and the newly formed dynamic duo of Crabtree and Stockham blasted their way to 9-3. A strong start for Bish.

Once Alistair had recovered from that last sweet sherry, he and I made the most of our warm up time - it seemed to pay off with a 12-0 start to our match. Andy and Ricardo continued their winning form converting a 7-5 win when it could easily have slipped to a draw.

Bish in command after two rubbers.

The final rubber saw an 11-1 win for Greg and Sam and an 8-4 victory for Parker and Scott-Somers.

Final tallies:

Rich and Andy - 16 (+12)
Greg and Sam - 21 (+12)
Al and James - 20 (+12)

All this added together meant a convincing 93-15 final scoreline and Bish Men's first doubles win of the season. A little harsh on the visitors who played with fine spirit, good grace and no little ability, despite being in sticky situation from the first serve. Good luck to them for the rest of the season.

Up next high flying Rufforth at the airfield. What price an upset?



June 14th vs SHERBURN Home

Just a nightmare...

J A S O N I S . . B A C K

May 31st vs CASTLEGARTH II Home

Did Marco Polo travel as long and as far as we have in search of a first victory? Is that victory as elusive as the Fountain of Youth? Is that victory guarded like the Holy Grail, by some secret sect of the Knights Templars?

Perhaps. But the lord knows the Bish Boys could do with a dunk in said Fountain, especially after 3 hours of fruitless toil in the Tatooine like conditions last Sunday. We could have had both our thirsts slaked and also been restored to our physical prime; able to turn the heads of fair maidens and to consistently hit an overhead without recourse to invasive medical intervention.

And so to the tennis. Sad to report that we were never in front in this match with Castlegarth and the only time we were level was just before the first ball was hit. Quite a good standard of tennis though and at times quite an enjoyable match. Sam and Andy dovetailed with aplomb and that hoary old partnership of Aleister Crowley and James was restored. Myself and Greg had, er, a trip, man.

Still, to look on the bright side, if we had won this week then superstition would have required us to have dozens of action shots taken at every future match as we did at this one. We might then have become regarded as the “readers wives” of Div 4. A salutary thought.

So whilst it is true we have yet to win this year, that is only if one considers time as linear. Circular time sees us forever stepping out of May 2008 with a satisfying win at Boston Spa…….which, funnily enough, is where we are headed next week.

May 24th vs SHERIFF HUTTON Away


Like a crown snatched from the hands of a boy prince, Sheriff Hutton took a draw from us on a day that was so fair yet turned out to be so foul.

The great knights of Bishopthorpe laid siege to that home of Richard III and, although close, victory had been firmly in our grasp.

Lord Preston and his faithful aide de camp, Crabtree, blunted Hutton’s very able firsts 6 all. Then with a bludgeon hammered their thirds 10 –2 before being slashed from behind by their seconds 5 – 7. 21 points in all.

Sir Parker and his knave Cragg fought a furious rearguard action against their firsts taking an immensely valuable 5 in their last duel. 17 points in all from them.

With 11 points already on the board this left the Marquis of Levensey and Field Marshall Watson with a target of 6 for victory against the Hutton’s wobbling thirds. Our smiles flowed when the couriers brought us news of Watson and Levensey being 5 games all. A draw had been reached and we needed only one of the remaining two games. We mounted our trusty steeds and galloped to their section of the battlefield to witness victory.

Just as we arrived we saw Hutton went 6 –5 up but with a rapier thrust Levensey’s serve put us 30-love up. Our dusty victory standards were being unfurled….when Levensey suddenly became “unhorsed” and with the blood in their nostril’s the Hutton thirds set about him like a pack of wild animals. They took the next four points and the duel 7 – 5 and we were drawn.

All that remained were for terms to be agreed and the great armies retired from the field. Hutton defended their traitorous kings honour. And for Bishopthorpe? The annals record that Levensey’s battered body was pickled in real ale and displayed in the beer garden of the Ebor.

May 17th vs ALNE & TOLLERTON Away

With a frequency and height of lob that would once upon a time have caught the baleful eye of a Warsaw Pact tracking satellite, Tollerton and Alne just pipped us to the post 56 – 52.

For some reason we were reduced to 2 balls on each of the courts at one time. Many thought they had been knocked into the gardens…..but Patrick Moore knows they are currently in geostationary orbit taking their rightful place alongside Roberto Baggio’s USA 94 penalty kick.

Anyway, Sam and Alistair played well and collected no end of points and John and Andy did likewise (no one saw fit to comply with their duty of disclosure in relation to their points – so we’ll call it res ipsa loquitur - they were stuffed, then?). Me and Greg got a rather stale 18 points, leaving ne’er a ripple upon this tie.

Perhaps next week, we can hope, in the way a rather ugly chap does at “slow dance” time when faced with the prospect of nothing more than a kebab to sooth his hangover, that our luck will surely change?

Or perhaps we could look to more diabolical means? Andy himself voiced a primeval fear of us all scoring sixes and the supernatural implications of such. One wonders whether Old Nick himself may choose that moment to avert his gaze from the worlds killing fields and come and submit himself to the bidding of a our worthy collection of middle-aged tennis players. Is demonic possession of Alistair for a win at Sheriff Hutton a price worth paying? Now repeat after me, altogether “the power of Christ compels you!”


(Has Richard been possessed by the spirit of Big Jase??)


May 10th vs CAWOOD Away

Classic British Comedy Triple Header!

Filmed on location at Cawood studios 10th May 2009. A Bish Production.

Cast:

Albert Steptoe (Sam Watson)
Harold Steptoe (Alistair Scott-Summers)

Bernard Breslaw (Greg Preston)
Sid James (Richard Crabtree)

Cpt Mainwaring (John Cragg)
Cpl Pike (James Parker)


Steptoe And Son Serve Again – A ratings winner last week, this episode sees Harold try to break away and pursue his dreams of being a groupie to an up and coming rock goddess. However, inspired by a holiday in Brent Cross (Wembley), Albert puts in a dazzling display of returns and teasing “inside out” forehands. Despite his best efforts to escape and strike out on his own, much to his dismay, Harold begins to realise that he may be trapped in this partnership forever…

Carry on Cawood – After their last effort being widely regarded as a flop, this long established franchise returns to its roots. The critics may pan ‘em but the public love it and this popular production is no exception. Breslaw coming out with a stream of semi-conscious utterings and lobs whilst James displays the full gamit of passing shots from A to B. Adult orientated.

Dads Army – Classic teatime entertainment for all the family. Much slapstick as Pike returns to the unit with his toe in plaster after an injury and, to Mainwaring’s astonishment, a written note from his missus to excuse him fighting when his dinner is ready. Many tight games and close points ensue against a company of Cawood Paratroopers. The general consensus is that they “don’t like it up ‘em”.


The total audience viewing figures were 54. Which makes this week a draw.


May 3rd vs RUFFORTH Home

In the opening match of the season Bish men's first team strolled proudly onto the pristine two tone green courts. The recently re-opened home arena was soon to witness a battle between the two teams reminiscent of last year's fixture.

The strong wind hampered both sides and made any attempt to lob a lottery. The strength in depth of the visitors showed as the 1st, 2nd and 3rd pairings clocked up 21 games, 20 games and 21 games respectively. Bishopthorpe though equally consistent were somewhat adrift of the pace with Greg & Richard taking 15 games, Alistair and Sam 16 games and 3rd pair John and Andy 15 games.

A creditable debut in the Men's first team for Andy Stockham who's performance dispelled any doubts he may have had about making the switch to doubles tennis. His strongly hit drive, low over the net, was a key factor in the 3rd pairs consistent clocking up of 5 games in all 3 of their matches.

Bish left the court to some scratching of heads not quite knowing what went wrong. Their good humoured opponents took home a well earned victory reflecting their strength in depth on the day. The Bish 1st string regroups next week to take on Cawood away from home.